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Nov 21
Love0

10 Ways to Encourage a Missionary

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In an effort to learn how we can best encourage missionaries, I emailed some and asked how they would most like to be served and encouraged. This list is drawn from their responses, including many direct quotes.

1. Pray for them and let them know that you are doing so frequently.

“One of the most encouraging/inspiring things we receive from people is a quick note via email to say that they are ‘thinking’ of us.”

2. Send “real mail.”

“Send a small care package. Some little fun food items that we can’t get where we serve is a good idea.”

“One idea is to send a special package before an American holiday (like Thanksgiving) filled with things that we can use to decorate for that holiday.”

“Send us a birthday card. This doesn’t have to be some long handwritten note, just a little card – maybe even printed at home.”

“Real mail is always special. Really, the thing with real mail is more than just getting some nice stuff from home (which is nice), but it seems a more tangible reminder that the people I love and miss love and miss me too and are thinking of me.”

3. Pray for the people the missionaries serve and not only for the missionaries and their families.

4. Recruit others to pray for the missionary’s area of service (city, people group, etc.) or for the missionaries themselves.

“This can be an amazing thing to have a person or group of people actively supporting the work that we are doing overseas – becoming an advocate for our city/work. It really encourages us to know that there are people going to bat for us and raising more prayer support for the work.”

“Become an arm of our work in the United States. Some ideas include handling our newsletter distribution, website hosting (i.e., hosting a virtual website for the city), logistical arrangements, or short term team orientation.”

5. Go visit them with the purpose of serving and encouraging them in their work.

“Have a group of your people come to minister to us as we are seeking to pour out our lives to others. This could be hosting a small retreat in country for our team or something similar, or coming to prayer walk the city we live in.”

6. Send them updates and pictures of you and your family (by mail or email).

“It would especially be nice to receive end of the year updates or Christmas card pics. We want to stay connected to you! We love hearing from friends and family and enjoy keeping up to date on what’s happening in your life!”

“If you have a friend overseas, stay in touch with them. Don’t let cautions about being careful with spiritual language keep you from talking about the day to day “un-spiritual” things you would talk about if you met up for lunch one day. Sometimes the least spiritual emails are the most helpful, because somehow I feel less distant when friends talk to me like they always did before I left. Share updates on family, school, work, life, sports—whatever it is that you used to talk about with them.”

7. Ask questions about their work.

“Ask not only how we are doing, but ask about our work and try to learn all you can about the people or city where we are serving.”

“I know that this has been said, but truly CARING about the work is the best way to encourage us.”

8. Continue to be a Christian friend and continue to minister to them.

“Don’t stop being the church to us when we leave. Whenever security allows, spiritual conversations are good for our hearts. Missionaries struggle with the same sinful attitudes that plague Christians everywhere. Leaving home to live among unreached peoples, may be a step of faith in the process of sanctification, but it is not a step that roots out all sin. It is likely to lead to and expose all kinds of previously unnoticed and unexpected sin. Having friends that know me, are patient with me, and expect me to be the same struggling sinner I was when I left helps me stay humble when tempted toward arrogance, and hopeful when tempted toward despair.”

“Even for us with strong member care, it is helpful to receive pastoral care from the stateside church’s pastor who many times will know the missionary personally and have the history with them to be able to invest and mentor them and their family and marriage.”

“Ask us those hard questions. Do a little pastoral counseling with us.”

“Please don’t elevate us onto some false pedestal. We are normal people too who have been forgiven much and for some reason God called to live and minister overseas.”

9. Support them financially.

“Finding out if we have any specific needs and meeting those needs is great.”

10. Seek to encourage them when they are on stateside assignment.

“Let us talk to you and your congregations, and small groups. We want to share what God has been doing and would love the opportunity to talk about it, raise awareness and hopefully gain more prayer support.”

“Invite us out to lunch or dinner. Nothing fancy is needed. Remember we’ve just been in places where we may not have been able to even enjoy a little Mexican food.”

No missionary mentioned this to me in emails, but I know it is a blessing when someone shares their summer home or cabin for a missionary family to get away and relax for a few days.

“Let us know about any good books that are must reads. Tell us about any good resources that may benefit our personal growth or ministry work: things like conferences, training for ministry/leadership, and so forth.”

This article was written by Mark Rogers. He is on staff at CrossWay Community Church in Kenosha, Wisconsin, where he helps oversee the CrossWay Pastoral Training Course. Mark recently finished his PhD in historical theology at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, and is the editor of ‘Glimpses of Christian History.’ You can find the article in it’s entirety here.

Nov 21
Love0

Humbled By Language

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I had my first language evaluation on Friday.
I will call the examiners “BabyMomma,” “ SoftTalker,” and “NiceMan” .
BabyMomma started the exam. She was supposed to start off with simple things like “Introduce yourself.” “Introduce your friend.” “Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “How many?”  “Are they boys or girls?”  You get the idea.   I know these things. I have been having this type of conversation with people for a year! But somehow, she made it difficult.

When I meet people on the street, they consider that I’m a foreigner just learning their language, and they simply ask me, “Are you married?” Now, I have no idea all the words that BabyMomma used, but it was probably something like, “Today, as you sit here, is there a husband that you belong to?”

The reason I say that is because the question should be, “Agupi ci?” But what I heard was, “Blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah agupi?” No one has ever asked me that question like this lady did.

The whole test was basically like that. If they wanted to ask me something, they thought of the most difficult way possible.

Let me also say that BabyMomma was nursing her son quite openly throughout the two hour exam.  The men in this culture are turned on by knees and not a woman’s upper-body (if you lived here, you could fill in a LOT of stories here), so I know the other national men at the table thought nothing of it.

When I told them I didn’t understand something they said, they laughed.   I’m sure it was because they had asked a simple question. I then explained (in Lugbara) that I had only been studying a few months.  I expected them to talk to me like a child, not like a college professor.

When SoftTalker (he could also be called SpeedyGonzalesTalker) asked me to call for a piki piki from one section of town to another,  we had a pretend phone conversation as I negotiated for a price. They all just laughed.

Now, I know I must sound funny sometimes, and most of the time the people here just laugh because they are excited I’m speaking their language, but this was NOT a good way to encourage me. It was, however, a good way to humble me.
SoftTalker also asked me about the price of plates in the market. I’ve never bought plates in the market, so when I made a guess about the price, he showed me with his hands (laughing at the same time) that the plate I wanted would be about 5 inches in diameter. Humbled.
When I commented on a scripture passage and talked about what it meant, they asked me (at least I think this is what they said) to say it all again as if I were preaching in church. Yikes!
When I found a song number in the songbook, they asked me to sing it. I had NO idea what tune it was. After trying to decide what I was going to do, SoftTalker started singing, so I joined in. It was a tune I knew.  After the chorus, I stopped, but they all insisted I sing verse two and the chorus again, and this time I was singing solo. Humbled.

After I finished singing, it started to rain.  BabyMomma asked me what I was going to do for her baby when the rain came. I told her we had a tree to sit under. She didn’t like that. So we all got up and went inside the hotel to the small dining room that seats 8 people.

The acoustics were terrible! Every time the baby cried or a chair scooted across the floor, I missed key words in the sentences the evaluators were saying.  These kinds of distractions went on the whole time.
I guess it prepares us for real life…right?

This is where I should tell you about my friend, “Si.” “Si” is such a small, cute, little word, but in this tonal language it is an ugly, slimy thing. So far, after a few months of language, I have learned that “si” can mean (and I’m sure there are more): knocked, build, get off, write, with, teeth, branch, and grounding (peanuts).  It all depends on the tone and HOW you say it.  Now, I ask you…how many ways CAN a person say, “Si?”

Another cute, little word “a’i” means: receive, believe, respond, ask, borrow, salt, and co (as in co-wives).  So you see, they could have asked to borrow my Bible, and I could have thought they were wanting me to respond to the Gospel.

I’m just hoping that when it’s time for the next exam, the examiners and I will both be better prepared–and maybe Baby will be weaned from BabyMomma.

Editor’s Note:  Pray for the missionaries as they learn new languages.  Pray for them to be able to clearly share the gospel.(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issues; stock photo)

Nov 20
Love0

Update From The K Family

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We are officially in our new city!  We’ve spent the last two months settling into our new place and it’s starting to feel like home.
So how is it?  We love it!  This new city is a family-friendly town. There is no awful air pollution like in our old city. Most importantly, the church has welcomed us and we are thrilled to be a part of a fellowship that is healthy.  Now we are able to both be fed and serve in partnership with the local church.  As Tiff noted the other day, “Sometimes you don’t realize how hungry you are until there is a feast before you.”  In other words, we are TRULY GRATEFUL to be here.  Moving was definitely the right choice to keep our family healthy spiritually, emotionally, and physically and to be able to continue in ministry.

If you were to peek into our lives recently, you would find:

Sladjo-Transfering all our paperwork from one city to another-bank accounts, driver’s license, ID card, medical records, insurance, etc. It was quite a process.  Bureaucracy is the same the world over–slow! He’s been participating in church meetings to discover how he can best serve here.  Attending church on Sunday and being able to soak up the singing and message (instead of leading it himself) has been refreshing.  He’s also working hard to get to know church members and serve believers in practical ways–for example building a chicken coop and re-roofing a house.  Now he’s teaching English once a week, leading a men’s discovery Bible study, and recently joined the worship team.  Basically, Sladjo is making himself available to serve in whatever ways possible, while building trust with the church leadership.
Tiffany-Unpacking, organizing, cooking and serving meals on our balcony when possible (love this), nursing Lukas, and potty training Evan.  She is very busy at home these days with the kiddos, but has also enjoyed having a few folks from church over, grabbing an occasional coffee out, and attending the women’s Bible study at church.
Evan-Growing, talking like crazy, singing, asking every 15 minutes to watch VeggieTales, and feeding the fish in the pond near our apartment.
Lukas-Growing, smiling, giggling, cooing, blowing bubbles, and sleeping.
In other news….we are coming to the States!  That’s right, it’s time for furlough!  We’ll be in the OKC area December 3-January 28.  Tiff hasn’t been “home” for Christmas in 7 years, so she’s super excited.  Also, it’s been almost 3 years since we’ve seen ya’ll and we need to introduce Lukas to family and friends.

There are a couple of ways that you can help us with furlough:

1. Do you know of individuals, churches, or small groups looking for missionaries to support? Please put us in contact with them. We will be support raising while in America.
2. We need some practical items for our kids while in OKC (this will help cut down on luggage for us).
We need car seats for Evan (2.5 years old weighing about 25 pounds) and Lukas (will be 5-7 months old in the States and weighs about 15 pounds).
Lukas needs a pack-n-play to sleep in and Evan could use a toddler bed or just a toddler mattress and sheets.
Please let us know by email if you could loan us these items for December and January.  We would really appreciate it!

Would you please join with us in praising God for these things:

-Getting settled here safely
-Family town, family-friendly neighborhood
-We’ve been welcomed by the church
-Zoran and Maja and Imela (Sladjo’s brother’s family) moved to Capljina too!
-Clean air
-Our encouraged hearts
-A good church team to partner with in ministry
-3 young married couples in the church for us to hang out with

Join us in asking God for:

-Continued adjustment and wisdom to our new “normal”–new town, slightly different culture, different schedule, different ministry opportunities
-Wisdom and grace in parenting two kids instead of one–this has been a challenge!
-Healing for Lukas who has  severe eczema.  With treatment it comes and goes, but we’d like to find out what is causing it!
-Contacts and relationships with the people of Capljina–may we be able to share the hope that we have in Christ!
-It’s visa season for Tiff-pray for no complications in the process
Folks, we’re blessed to have you on our support team.  Also, we’re grateful to be in a better place for our family and ministry.  We look forward to seeing many of you while in America. Thanks for partnering with us!
Blessings, Sladjan, Tiffany, Evan, and Lukas
Nov 19
Love0

A Gospeled Man

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But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

— 1 Timothy 6:11-12

As I view what it means to be a man through the lens of this instruction from Paul to Timothy, I am reminded again of the holy activity of true masculinity (and true personhood, generally). Flee, pursue, fight, take hold. Paul is nothing if not verby. I am struck, though, by how often I fail at these things. I am busy about things that so often don’t matter and passive about things that do. I am lazy. I can’t be bothered. And when I look for where I ought to get the oomph of holy pursuit from, I see Paul couching the masculine imperatives in the masculine indicative: “O man of God.” If this is what I am, this is what I can do. Furthermore, I see the importance of “taking hold of the eternal life to which I was called” for the other actions.

The godly man is a gospeled man. He has seen who he is in Christ, he is moved by what God has done for him in Christ. If I don’t get this part, all the rest will just be a self-salvation project, an exercise in self-righteousness.

I need a better vision. I need a better vision than simply that of myself as a “manly man” going about some religious busywork. I need a vision of the conquering, saving, loving Savior who has done all these things for me and covers my failures at doing them myself.

If biblical manhood is about denying excuses and taking responsibility — and I think it is — I begin to think of all the excuses the God-Man could have made when it came to loving and saving me. He could have shaken his head and cataloged my list of deep unworthinesses:

 

Father, he’s so sinful. He’s always struggling with lust and he looks at pornography.
Father, he’s so lazy. He doesn’t deserve all this effort.
Father, he’s so unspiritual. He won’t even pick up the Word to read a few lines.
Father, he doesn’t treat his wife the way she ought to be treated.
Father, he’s not the kind of guy who could set the world on fire, is he?
Father, he’s so passive. He’s so timid. He’s such a coward
Father, he’s so prideful. He enjoys praise too much and he’s selfish.
Father, he’s short-tempered. He leaps to defend himself too much.
Father, he’s such a failure, a nobody, a loser. He’s a stuttering wimp, just like that girl in the 5th grade said he was. He is what he always feared his family thought he was. He doesn’t deserve a second glance like those bosses at his first job proved. He is what his critics say he is, worthy of scorn and derision and unworthy of forgiveness. He is what the Accuser says he is, only as good as what he has failed to do and deserving of eternal condemnation.

But with his atoning sacrifice Jesus doesn’t say any of those things about me. He says “Father, this man is your son and you’ve set your affections on him. So I am pleased to die for him.”

So I write this today not as a perfect man, but as a gospeled man, because I have taken hold of Christ having taken hold of me (Phil. 3:12). I have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, and now by God’s grace I am empowered to love well and serve well and husband well and daddy well and pastor well. And so can you, men of God, if you will but lay hold of it.

Take hold of this precious truth. The Son of God has set aside all the charges against you, all your sins and failings, and has taken them to the cross, killing them by dying with them,

leaving them dead as he himself raises to new life — your new life, which is eternal and into which he is calling you.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
— Romans 8:1

This article was written by  Jared C. Wilson and can be found here
.

Nov 19
Love0

Can I love my child too much?

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A number of years ago, as a homeschool mother, I sat with some ladies offering comfort and encouragement to another mom we knew who wanted to homeschool, but whose husband was against it. She would not go against his wishes, but it was hard for her.  This woman was certain that her life as a mother was doomed to failure unless she homeschooled.  An older and wiser woman commented saying, “Be careful that you don’t let homeschooling become an idol.”

 

This was not something I had really considered before.  As I thought more and more about it in the ensuing weeks, I did see how homeschooling could become an idol. Furthermore, as time went on, I began to see that our children, themselves, can become idols in our hearts.  This is not an attempt at an indepth discussion of the topic; that is beyond the scope of any one blog post.  I do want to share, though, some thoughts about the reality that our children can become idols.

Idolatry is a sin; we know that.  The first two of the Ten Commandments make this clear (Exodus 20:2-7). In Exodus 32 when Aaron and company proceeded to make an idol of gold, God’s anger burned against them.  We are not to worship anything but God.  Our lives are driven by what we worship; if it is not God, it is surely something else.  For some, it might be success; for others, it is money and possessions; some are driven by the praise of men, or even something as inconsequential as having an home that looks like something out of a magazine.  And yes, for some, it can be their own children.  The point is, something rules in our hearts, and unless it is God, it is an idol.

We love our children.  We sacrifice for them.  We stay up late with them while they are sick, tend to them and nurture them.  We have inexpressible joy in them.  Normally sedate women will become ferocious lionesses when someone wants to hurt their children.  There is spiritual blessing in having children.  It is not wrong to love our children.  However, sometimes, as we love them, it is difficult to see when we have crossed the line and begun to love them more than God.   Ultimately what happens is that their happiness and our good relationship with them becomes more important to us than our righteousness, our obedience, and our relationship with God.  The result is sin as we seek to serve our child who has become more important to us than our God.

When our children are more important to us than God, authority in the home is affected.  Unless a husband shares his wife’s tendency, there will be inevitable conflict between husband and wife.  Aside from the obvious assault on God’s holiness, idolizing a child can poison a family’s relationship.  In the end, a child will not thank you for setting him up as an idol; he will resent you.  No human being can take the pressure of being the centre of someone else’s worship.It also creates an unhealthy relationship between child and parent.  A child needs love, teaching, and discipline from his mother and father, not worship.  Aside from the obvious assault on God’s holiness, idolizing a child can poison a family’s relationship.  In the end, a child will not thank you for setting him up as an idol; he will resent you.  No human being can take the pressure of being the centre of someone else’s worship.

How do you know when this is happening?  What are some signs that we may be making an idol of our children?  This is not an exhaustive list, but here are a few thoughts.

You excuse your child’s bad behaviour.  It’s always someone else’s fault.  You excuse their sin instead of addressing it.   You don’t believe your child would ever lie to you or do what that person said he did. You blame the youth group for not teaching them better or their teachers for polluting their minds.

You can’t bear it when they are angry with your discipline.  When you do impose consequences and boundaries, and they react badly, you try to appease them because you don’t like their anger.  You don’t like the conflict.  You will go out of our way to avoid it, even if it means neglecting to impose a godly standard.

You try to shield them from mistakes.  As they get older, you interfere with giving them freedom to try and fail at things. You jump in and fix things before they have to deal with the consequences.  This may take the form of constantly intervening with people to whom your children are responsible, like a teacher or a leader.  Instead of letting them take responsibility for something, you micromanage how they handle it so that you don’t have to see them fall.

You struggle to let them go.  Now, I realize that releasing our children to be independent is hard.  I’ve done it three times now, and it was hard every time.  However, when the grief begins to infiltrate other areas of our lives, and incapacitates us, we’re in trouble.  If God cannot fill the spaces they’ve left with their absence, we have to wonder where our true worship lies.

In all of these situations, the root of the problem is that we are looking to our children to fill what God is meant to fill.  Our hearts were meant for one God, and one God alone.  If our children replace Him, we are putting ourselves at risk, and putting them on a pedestal.  When they fall, which they inevitably will, it will devastate us.  We are not called to neglect our children, but to love them.  That, however, does not include loving them above God Himself.

Perhaps this notion seems ridiculous to you.  After all, can we ever love our children too much?  Perhaps you can’t believe that anyone would do such a sinful thing.  All I can say to that is, “been there, done that.”  Perhaps I am the only one foolish enough to get caught up in such a business.  I suspect not, though.  I am not unique by any stretch of the imagination.  As painful as this revelation was to me, and as difficult as the fallout was, I learned so much about God’s grace; more than I’d ever seen before. And it takes God’s grace for us to love our children as we should.

 

Nov 19
Love0

A Missionary’s Prayer

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Missionaries are not a breed apart, nor a breed above. We are ordinary people, trying our best to do what God tells us to do. We sometimes live in places that seem extraordinary or odd. And we struggle to find joy in difficult times, just like you.

Yes, this is one of those times and one of those days for me. Family is far away and I cannot reach them. I cannot help them, cannot hug them. Cannot laugh and weep with them. And so I pray for them. And cry for them. And wonder if I should share this with anyone.

Dear God,

My family is celebrating today and I cannot be with them. Please give them joy and delight. Let them be merry as they hug and laugh with one another. May their excitement be full and overflowing as they thank you for this time of joy.  Help them understand that I am rejoicing with them.

Dear God,

My family is hurting today and I cannot be with them. Please comfort them. Help them find a way through the pain. Walk with them, carry them, be their strength. Teach them how to lean on you, how to cry out to you and to lay their burdens upon you. Bring them words of comfort from your heart. Help them understand that their sorrow is my sorrow.

Dear God,

My family is facing illness and I cannot be with them. They need your healing. They need a miracle. I need to know you will be with them every step of the way. I’m calling on you to bring to them what is most important, that is, your Son. Please save the souls of my loved ones. Send someone to them to speak your truth and bring encouragement.

Dear God,

My family is facing challenges today. They are confused and unsure which way to turn. Please give them wisdom and discernment. Lead them into your truth and all knowledge of you. Teach them to praise you and to not be anxious; to lay all of their cares upon you and to receive the peace that passes all understanding. Guard their hearts and their minds through your Son, Jesus Christ. Help me to minister to them from thousands of miles away. Help them to understand that even though we are far apart, we are in this, and all things, together.

-amen

Editor’s Note:  Please koin in this prayer for all the far-away families of our missionaries. Pray also for our mssionaries as they experience many “family events” long-distance.

(names, locations and blog links omitted due to security issue; stock photo)

Original story can be found here.

Nov 18
Love0

Masculinity in a Can, Fight Club at Church, and the Crisis of Manhood

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You do not have to look far to find evidence of the fact that males are in trouble in these confused and confusing times. On the university campuses, women undergraduate students outnumber young men by a clear margin — 60% to 40%. A frightening percentage of young males are or have been behind bars, and the vast majority of young men are delaying their assumption of adult roles and responsibilities until well into their twenties or early thirties.

A crisis of fatherlessness marks the lives of millions of boys and young men, with boys growing up without fathers in the home now comprising a majority within some ethnic groups and urban populations. At almost every grade level, boys are performing below girls, and are often left behind as girls go on to more advanced levels of learning. Then, adding insult to injury, reports from scientists indicate that both sperm counts and testosterone levels are falling among some boys and men — blamed on anything from hormone supplements in the food chain to chemical contamination of ground water.

In many churches, young men and older boys are simply missing. The absence of young men ages 18 to 30 is just a fact of life in many congregations. Though this is especially acute in the mainline Protestant denominations, it is increasingly true of many evangelical churches as well.

One dimension of this problem is the difficulty of helping boys develop into manhood — a responsible, healthy, and meaningful manhood. Put simply, many of the most significant man-making institutions of our society are either gone or in big trouble. Military service is now both voluntary and no longer male-only. Organizations like the Boy Scouts attract more opposition and fewer boys. Even as the Boy Scouts of America marks the organization’s centennial this year, that proud American institution that shaped the lives of so many boys is marginalized and under attack.

Add the absence of fathers to all this and this society faces a challenge unprecedented in human history. A society cannot survive without a means of assisting boys to grow into responsible manhood. The same is true, of course, of the church — only in the church the stakes are even higher.

An enlightening (and oddly odorous) illustration of this social problem comes from The New York Times. Reporter Jan Hoffman tells of young boys now using “hypermasculine” products in order to demonstrate their masculinity and advertise their male identity — largely through the smells they put off.

Hoffman tells of Noah and Keenan Assaraf, age 13 and 14 respectively, who live near San Diego, where daily “they walk out the door in a cloud of spray-on macho,” according to their mom. The smell, she says, “drives me nuts.” Even as marketers insist the products are intended for young males ages 18 to 26, the products have now “reached into the turbulent, vulnerable world of their little brothers, ages 10 to 14.”

As Jan Hoffman explains:

Boys themselves, at a younger age, have also become increasingly self-conscious about their appearance and identity. They are trying to tame their twitching, maturing bodies, select from a growing smorgasbord of identities — goth, slacker, jock, emo — and position themselves with their texting, titillating, brand-savvy female peers, who are hitting puberty ever earlier.

And armies of researchers note that tween boys have modest disposable incomes, just fine for products that typically sell for less than $7.

“More insecurity equals more product need, equals more opportunity for marketers,” said Kit Yarrow, a professor of psychology and marketing at Golden Gate University.

Insecurity seems to be a major motivating factor. Jake Guttenberg, a New York seventh grader, told the paper he uses one of these “deodorants” because, “I feel confident when I wear it.”

Lyn Mikel Brown of Colby College was blunt in her assessment: “These are just one of many products that cultivate anxiety in boys at younger and younger ages about what it means to man up . . . to be the kind of boy they’re told girls will want and other boys will respect. They’re playing with the failure to be that kind of guy, to be heterosexual even.”

Interestingly, Hoffman reports that these products are often bought for boys by their mothers, “simply relieved that their sons are thinking about body odor.” Just about any mom will nod in agreement at this point — but where are the dads?

These boys are acting out what society is telling them — urging them to be hypermasculine, hypersexualized, hyperconsumers. You don’t have to consult with Karl Marx to be leery of the marketing of these products to preteen boys. You do not have to know these boys to be saddened that while they understandably and naturally desire to grow up into manhood, think that “masculinity in a can” is the way to get there. Their desire to identify as masculine is natural and healthy — even essential — but the lack of real support in getting there leads them into confusion.

The New York Times also offers evidence of the crisis of manhood in a second article, in which reporter R. M. Schneiderman takes readers into a world of “mixed martial arts” in some evangelical churches and ministries.

“The outreach is part of a larger and more longstanding effort on the part of some ministers who fear that their churches have become too feminized, promoting kindness and compassion at the expense of strength and responsibility,” he explains.

From his report:

In the back room of a theater on Beale Street [in Memphis], John Renken, 37, a pastor, recently led a group of young men in prayer.

“Father, we thank you for tonight,” he said. “We pray that we will be a representation of you.”

An hour later, a member of his flock who had bowed his head was now unleashing a torrent of blows on an opponent, and Mr. Renken was offering guidance that was not exactly prayerful.

“Hard punches!” he shouted from the sidelines of a martial arts event called Cage Assault. “Finish the fight! To the head! To the head!”

In order to reach young men, some churches are turning to mixed martial arts, defined as “a sport with a reputation for violence and blood that combines kickboxing, wrestling, and other fighting styles.”

The main issue here is not the legitimacy of martial arts, but the fact that these churches are making a self-conscious effort to reach young men and boys with some kind of proof that Christianity is not a feminized and testosterone-free faith that appeals only to women.

Of course, Christianity honors the man who fights “the good fight of faith,” and the most important fight to which a Christian man is called is the fight to grow up into godly manhood, to be true to wife and provide for his children, to make a real contribution in the home, in the church, and in the society, and to show the glory of God in faithfully living out all that God calls a man to be and to do. This means a fight for truth, for the Gospel, and for the virtues of the Christian life. The New Testament is filled with masculine — and even martial — images of Christian faithfulness. We must be unashamed of these, and help a rising generation of men and boys to understand what it means to be a man in Christ. The Christian man does not embrace brutality for the sake of proving his manhood.

This much is clear — we are living in strange times, getting stranger by the minute. Churches and parents are right to be concerned about the new challenges of helping boys to grow into manhood. The crisis is real, and this one demands urgent attention.

Boys will never find real masculinity in a can, but boys and young men should find respect for and examples of genuine manhood at church. What about your church?

This article was written by Dr. Al Mohler and originally posted on his blog. You can find it here.

Nov 18
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The Online Life of Kids

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The fact that children and teenagers now spend a good deal of their lives connected to electronic devices is hardly news. We are now accustomed to the knowledge that teenagers are seldom seen without wires in their ears and a cell phone in their hand as they multitask their way through adolescence. Now, however, there is good reason to believe that these young people are far more connected than we have even imagined.

The Kaiser Family Foundation has released a new study on the online lives of children and teenagers, and the statistics are simply astounding. America’s children and teenagers are now spending an average of more than 7 1/2 hours a day involved in electronic media.

As the report states:

As anyone who knows a teen or tween can attest, media are among the most powerful forces in young people’s lives today. Eight-to-eighteen-year-olds spend more time with media than in any other activity besides (maybe) sleeping — an average of more than 7 1/2 hours a day, seven days a week. The TV shows they watch, video games they play, songs they listen to, books they read and websites they visit are an enormous part of their lives, offering a constant stream of messages about families, peers, relationships, gender roles, sex, violence, food, values, clothes, an abundance of other topics too long to list.

Online, All the Time

The report is the third conducted and released by the Kaiser Family Foundation. Just five years ago, the foundation released a second study that indicated young Americans were spending an average of nearly 6 1/2 hours a day with media.  Now, young people have found a way to devote another hour to media use, catching the researchers by surprise. As Donald F. Roberts, a professor emeritus of communications at Stanford University, remarked: “This is a stunner.” He told The New York Times, “In the second report, I remember writing a paragraph saying we’ve hit a ceiling on media use, since there just aren’t enough hours in the day to increase the time children spend on media. But now it’s up an hour.”

And it’s not just that these kids are devoting 7 1/2 hours of their daily lives to media immersion — their multitasking means that they somehow consume nearly 11 hours of media content in that 7 1/2 hours of time. Over the last ten years, young people have increased their consumption and use of every type of media with one exception — reading. As the researchers make clear, the vast increase in the amount of time teenagers are able to access the media is due almost entirely to the fact that their mobile phones allow an online life that can be carried in the pocket (and in far too many cases, taken to bed). “The mobile and online media revolutions have arrived in the lives — and the pockets — of American youth,” notes the report. “Try waking a teenager in the morning, and the odds are good you’ll find a cell phone tucked under their pillow — the last thing they touch before falling asleep and the first thing they reach for upon waking.”

The report indicates that 66 percent of kids now own their own cell phone, while 76 percent own an iPod or other MP3 player. Interestingly, these kids are using cell phones as mobile media devices, rather than as telephones. Young people spend an average of only a half hour each day talking on their cell phones, but their use of these devices for the consumption of media consumes far more time.

The report also offers a portrait of the media-saturated character of the average American home. That home now contains an average of 3.8 televisions, 2.8 DVD or VCR players, at least one digital video recorder, two computers, 2.3 console video game players, and assorted other media devices ranging from CD players to radios. In an amazing percentage of these homes, the television is on virtually every waking hour.

Media in the Bedroom

Even as the family home is populated with various media devices, the bedrooms of America’s children and teenagers are virtually saturated with media. “More and more media are migrating to young people’s bedrooms, enabling them to spend even more time watching, listening or playing,” the researchers report. An amazing 71% of all children from age 8-18 have their own television in their bedroom, and half have a video game player and/or access to cable. These kids have computers, too. Almost a third own their own laptops and the majority have easy access to a computer, usually with broadband Internet connections.

In most homes, parents are setting few rules for media use — or no rules at all. The majority of teens and tweens reported that their parents have set no rules about the type of media content they can use or the amount of time they can devote to media consumption. When parents do set rules, they are far more likely to set rules about the type of content that can be accessed, rather than the amount of time that is devoted to media use. A good percentage of parents who do set rules, often leave them unenforced.

Parents should note this statement from the report: “Children who live in homes that limit media opportunities spend less time with media. For example, kids whose parents don’t put a TV in their bedroom, don’t leave the TV on during meals or in the background when no one is watching, or do impose some type of media-related rules spend substantially less time with media than do children with more media-lenient parents.”

Media Use, Grades, and Personal Contentment

Another important section of the report indicates that the young people who spend the greatest amount of time with media report lower grades and lower levels of personal happiness and contentment. The researchers stated that their study “cannot establish whether there is a cause and effect relationship between media use and grades, or between media use and personal contentment.” They added: “And if there are such relationships, they could well run in both directions simultaneously.”

All this should serve to awaken America’s parents — and all who care for America’s young people — to the level of media saturation that now characterizes the lives of American youth. As The New York Times declared in its headline, “If Your Kids are Awake, They’re Probably Online.”

There is no turning back from the digital revolution. It is not realistic for most families to declare a principled disconnection from electronic media and the digital world. Nevertheless, this important report serves as an undeniable warning that America’s young people are literally drowning in an ocean of media consumption. There is every reason for parents to be concerned about dangers ranging from the content of this media, to the way digital saturation changes the wiring of the brain, to the loss of literacy and the reading of books, to the fact that many teenagers are far more connected to their friends through social media than to their own families in their own homes. Teenagers are forfeiting sleep and other important investments of time because they experience panic when they are digitally disengaged for even a few moments.

What is the impact of all this media saturation on the soul? Of course, that is a question that must be posed to America’s adults, as well as to our children and adolescents. At the same time, parents bear a responsibility many are clearly forfeiting.

The Courage to Disconnect

Dr. Michael Rich, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital Boston and director of the Center on Media and Child Health, told The New York Times that the media use of America’s young people is so pervasive, it is time to stop arguing over whether this is positive or negative. Instead, he suggested that we should simply accept media as a constant part of children’s environment, “like the air they breathe, the water they drink and the food they eat.”

This is advice Christian parents cannot follow. We cannot simply accept that constant media saturation is now a fact of nature and a matter of constant need. These technologies and devices have their places, but the role of parents is to establish rules that protect children and teenagers from being dominated by technology and an army of digital devices. At the end of the day, parents must find the courage and wisdom to know when to disconnect.

This article was written by Dr. Albert Mohler and can be found on his blog, here.

Nov 17
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The Last Letter of a Godly Grandfather

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The following is to remind us that leaving a legacy doesn’t just happen. May we be men who are building Godly families.

2012-11-12 11.13.23

Recently my wife’s parents moved out of their home of many years.  In sorting through their files, they came across the typewritten, hand-edited letter in the picture.  This letter was from Miriam’s grandfather, Lubertus “Bert” Hoeksema, who intended them to read it on the day of his funeral.  He went to be with the Lord in 1990, and it is clear from the dates these thoughts were on his mind for many years.  

Reading it made me thankful for the godly family into which I married, and for the faith and prayers of this humble laborer that span generations of time.  I reproduce it here with only slight edits.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my dear beloved Children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren,

What thoughts went through your minds today when you have viewed my earthly remains for the last time?  My last prayer in your behalf has been offered.  May they follow you to the end of your days is my last and earnest prayer.  I dearly loved and thanked God for each one of you and so did mother.  My GREATEST REGRET is that I did not display or reveal it more (Eph. 6:4).  Mother’s prayers have followed us, I know. (Heb. 11:4b; Mark 14:8a; Phil. 4:19)  My parting advice is: meditate much in the Word of God, pray without ceasing, listen to His voice, and let Him do the talking.  (Jos. 1:8, I Cor. 13, Num. 32:23b, Mat. 6:33, Rom 6:23, Rom. 8:1, Isa. 1:18, John 17:24, I Cor. 15, I Thess. 4:13-18)

While we are separated the one from the other I know God will take care of you.  He is able to keep you from slipping or falling away, and bring you sinless and perfect into His glorious presence with mighty shouts of everlasting joy.  In the meantime I commit each one of you to His kind care and keeping until we meet again, praying that not one of us will be missing in that great family reunion in the sky.  ”What a day that will be.”  God has been so good to me all my life in giving me Godly grandparents, parents, wife (Phil. 4:19 – she filled my need), grandchildren, and as far as I know great-grandchildren.

I have seen many things change during my lifetime – great improvements in the material world, standard of living, inventions, etc.  However I am sorry to say that I cannot say this about the spiritual realm.  Our forefathers left their homeland and friends to have freedom of religion. (Gen. 19:14).  They suffered  all kinds of hardships, walked to church in all kinds of weather to attend church twice each Sunday while today many churches only have ONE service and do not attend that during inclement weather with an automobile in the garage.  Bed on Sunday morning and blue tube in the evening is more important.  And when the children turn to all kinds of cults when they had absolutely no doctrinal training in the churches where the parents attended, who is to blame?  When they get married contrary to 2 Cor. 6:13-15 are they to blame?????  (Prov. 22:6)  What were our example & priorities?

I ponder on these things more and more as my days are drawing to a close and soon the curtain on my life will be drawn for the LAST time.  What have I done with the moments God has allotted to me?   What kind of training have I given you?  What kind of example have I been as a father and husband?  One day soon I will have to give an account of that, and not to an earthly judge, but to the JUDGE of the universe.  I am thinking of the hymn “Nothing but Leaves.” It is sort of late in life to start to think about these things at my age if we have not given them a thought before.

Mother was so thankful for each one of you and so am I.  Thank you for what you have meant and done for me.  God will reward you I am sure.  All eternity will not be long enough to thank God for His grace and mercy and compassion, love, etc. shown me during my lifetime.  Begin each day thanking the Lord for your Godly Mother (4/18/85).  ”To God be the Glory.”  Farewell, and God be with you till we meet again on Resurrection Morning, beseeching God that our family circle will be unbroken.  May the God of peace provide you with every good thing you need in order to do His will, and may He, through Jesus Christ, do in you what pleases Him.  And to Christ be all the glory forever and ever! (Prov. 3:5-7, Acts 20:32)

Your Father

October 15, 1978 (& 1985 & 86-88)

 

The article can be found in it’s entirety here.

Nov 17
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Operation World

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The Definitive Prayer Guide to Every Nation is now available for a SUPER price. Pick it up now and pray.

This exciting new update is now available!

Operation World is the definitive global prayer guide that will help focus your heart and life towards God’s passion for His glory among all nations. With well over 1 million copies of past versions being sold, this all new 7th edition has been completely updated and revised by Jason Mandryk and his team and covers the entire populated world. Whether you are an intercessor praying behind the scenes for world change, a missionary reaping the benefits of intercession or simply curious about the world, Operation World will give you the information necessary to be a vital part in fulfilling God’s plans for all nations. Included in the updated and revised 7th edition:

* All the countries of the world featured
* Maps of each country
* Geographic information
* People groups within each country
* Economic information
* Political information
* Religious make-up of each country
* Daily Prayer Calendar
* Answers to prayer
* Challenges for prayer
* Persecution index

You can order it here. 

Nov 17
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Well, How Was Your Trip?

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We have been back nearly two weeks, so we have had a little time to sift through our thoughts and impressions of the trip and how it affected us. Probably the best way to describe what happened is to share how the Lord answered the prayer requests we asked for your help on.

We asked:
-For the Lord to enable us to share about Him as we have the opportunity
Wow, we and the team had at least five separate opportunities to share in group settings with students, both one on one and in groups of three or more. Some deep theological discussions, testimonies, sharing of the gospel, and a variety of other topics were covered. We were able to spend time with several students at meals, on tourist outings, and going to and from events. In many cases their help with translation and transportation was invaluable, especially when Peggy and I left the team for a few days to travel to Xining by train and bus.
-For us to bless and encourage the believers and workers there

 This happened in all four cities that Peggy and I visited. We were able to participate in three different worship groups on two Sundays. All of the M’s working there (a large number were from Oklahoma) expressed gratitude for us coming and for some of the gifts we shared with them. We were greatly blessed and encouraged ourselves by the way they shared their lives and ministries with us. Seeing some of the living situations they are willing to embrace to bring the love of our Lord to students and other people groups was challenging. Our team has received emails of appreciation since we returned also for the impact we had on their ministries.

-For our hearts to be prepared for the trip and also wisdom to know about our future ministry in

China
The Father did prepare us and gave us some direction about returning to China. We have two schools we can teach at in Xining, and some amazing opportunities were shared with us in Xi’an that came about through a network of fellow followers that we did not have any idea about before the trip. At the present only two scenarios would keep us from returning next year – an unexpected decline in our health, or US and China relations really going sour where no visas would be granted. Lord willing we are going back.
-That we will delight in God and declare His glory as we serve those at the schools and also our fellow travelers
The other six members of our team from the Boston area were just delightful. We had participated in a number of skype training sessions with them before we left, but the first time we met them in person was in the Chicago airport on the way to China. Each of them only wanted to glorify the Lord in all that we did in China. We really appreciated our co-leaders, John and Bob, veteran travelers to China with a real heart for students.
-The total cost for our trip is $6,500. Please pray with us that the funds to cover our trip expenses will be provided.Wow again, your generosity overwhelmed us. The quick response time of your giving enabled us to buy our plane tickets early and save some expense there, and then the balance of costs were covered in a timely fashion.

Thank you so much for your prayer and/or financial support. Your intercession with the Father on our behalf resulted in wonderful answers to our requests.

Some verses that really impressed us during this time are:

For Peggy – Psalm 57:2 – I will cry unto God most high; unto God that performeth all things for me.

For Gary – Psalm 37:4 – Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Blessings,

Gary & Peggy

Nov 17
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Twelve Lessons Of Fatherhood

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By Thom S. Rainer , Christian Post Guest Columnist
July 6, 2012|10:17 am

I once did an interview for an online publication, and one of the questions was: “Who has been the greatest leadership influence in your life?” Without hesitation, I wrote: “My three sons: Sam, Art, and Jess.”

Fatherhood has been an educational journey that no school could provide. I have learned so much. And even to this day, I listen to my sons. They may think that I am offering them words of wisdom, but I am learning from them as well.

I do not see myself as the great expert on fatherhood. I hope I have been transparent and honest in my self-assessment, especially with the weaknesses and faults that I have.

I also realize that the far superior parent in our family is my wife, Nellie Jo. I have never seen such sacrificial and unconditional love flow from one human to another. She is the true instrument of God who raised our three sons so well.

But this is a post about fatherhood. At the end of the day, I have several lessons that I have learned about the great challenge of being a dad. Thank you for allowing this fellow struggler the opportunity to share these lessons.

Lesson 1: Children Are Precious Gifts From God

If we parents ever fully recognize the incredible gift we have been given in our children, our attitude about them will be one of unceasing praise. I realize that not every couple has been given children. And I realize that I do not deserve my sons any more than husbands and wives who have not been blessed with children. They are gifts of grace. Undeserved and unmerited.

Have you ever assessed a situation and realized how completely blessed you are? That is how I feel about my boys. One of the reasons that I have not failed completely as a father is that my sons know how much I treasure them. They have a confidence and assurance that they are wanted. They know that I see them as precious gifts from God. They know that I feel like I am the most blessed man in the world to have them as my sons.

On those occasions where I have been weary and irritable, I often remind myself of this gift. Such thinking really puts minor issues in perspective. Children are gifts. Never, ever forget that truth.

Lesson 2: We Must Love Our Children Unconditionally, and They Must Know It

A child who grows up with unconditional love is more secure and more joyous. He or she does not have to earn the love of a parent. It is there no matter what.

The analogy of the heavenly Father’s love for us through Christ is a fit comparison. We did not earn His love. We did not merit His love. But we can be secure in His love. The apostle Paul said it clearly in Ephesians 2:8–9: “For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift-not from works, so that no one can boast.” Paul spoke of the security of Christ’s love in Romans 8:38–39: “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!”

Our children can take a lot from this world if they know that Mom and Dad are there for them no matter what. The love of Christ is the greatest security. And the unconditional love of a parent is a child’s greatest earthly security.

Lesson 3: Love Your Children’s Mother

I am not a perfect father. Not close. And I am not a perfect husband. Far from it. But do you know what Art, Sam, and Jess know? Despite my imperfections as a husband, despite my stupid anger, despite my self-centeredness, I love their mother. I am with her until death do us part. My sons can live in the assurance and the confidence that, not only do I love them, I love and adore my wife, their mother.

Nellie Jo and I are blessed with three daughters. God gave Art a wife named Sarah, Sam a wife named Erin, and Jess a wife named Rachel. These three young ladies are the answers to our prayers. They are beautiful physically but, more importantly, they are beautiful spiritually. And they love our sons. And we love them for that. I pray that my boys will show their children what it is like to love and adore their mothers.

Lesson 4: Time Can Never Be Recaptured

Art often tells a story of his baseball team when he was seven years old. One day I was coaching at third base when Art hit the ball into the infield. Seeing that he was a certain out at first base, he did not run all the way to the base, a cardinal sin in baseball. The coach gave him several sentences of reprimand, which irked me. I was about to say something to the coach when Art came running across the field, holding back tears. He looked at me with hurt all over his face and said, “Daddy, that coach hurt my feelings.”

I swept my son into my arms. He already knew that he had made a baseball mistake, so I did not dwell on that issue. After a few minutes, Art was fine, having fun again with his teammates.

Why did I tell that story? I simply remember how good I felt when I held my son. And I remember how great it was to be able to soothe hurt feelings with a hug and a few sentences. I also remember how much fun I had coaching the team with both Sam and Art on it.

That was yesterday . . . or so it seems. Actually it was nearly twenty years ago. Where has the time gone? The time that we have our children at home is so incredibly brief. Make the most of it. Enjoy each year of their lives. Celebrate each moment. It will be over before you know it.

Lesson 5: Discipline Is a Sign of Love

Neither Nellie Jo nor I enjoyed disciplining our sons, but we did so anyway. To do less was to tell our boys that we didn’t care what they did, that we had no boundaries. They did not like the discipline when they were children, but now they tell us how much they appreciate it.

The writer of Hebrews tells us that discipline is a sign of love, and he points to God’s love as a disciplining love in Hebrews 12:5–11:

My son, do not take the Lord’s discipline lightly, or faint when you are reproved by Him; for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and punishes every son whom He receives. Endure it as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons. For what son is there whom a father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline-which all receive-then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had natural fathers discipline us, and we respected them. Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but He does it for our benefit, so that we can share His holiness. No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

There were times when I was tempted to avoid the hassle and pain of disciplining Art, Jess, and Sam. I am glad that I avoided that temptation.

Lesson 6: Encouragement Builds Up a Child

Sam was driving his truck one day, and I was in the passenger seat. “Dad, what one piece of advice would you give me on being a father?” Now that question really hit me for a couple reasons. First, my son was really asking for my advice. Secondly, I love this adult-son age where they really listen to me.

I can’t say that I thought through the answer with any great depth, but the answer that came most quickly to my mind was: “Encourage your kids. Let them know how proud you are of them. Many children go through their entire lives seeking and not getting their parents’ approval.”

Sam responded, “Yeah, Dad, that’s what you have done with Art, Jess, and me. And it has worked!”

The blessing. That’s what a parent’s approval is. And for whatever reasons, fathers seem to withhold such encouragement and approval more than mothers do. I thank God that I learned the lesson of the blessing.

Lesson 7: Communicate the Blessing with Words and Touch

Perhaps this lesson could be included in lesson six. I simply want to emphasize that even if our children know we love them and that we are proud of them, they need to hear it. They need to feel with our hugs. When they are young, the physical interaction with children is critical. When they are older, we must still keep hugging them.

Lesson 8: Talk to Your Children

I love it. I absolutely love it. My sons still want to talk to me. My boys can call my cell phone at almost any time. They know that I am the president of this big company, but they know they can get in touch with me quickly. Most of the time I will answer their calls on the spot. Otherwise, I get back to them quickly. I am honored beyond measure that those boys still want to talk to me.

I think I instilled this desire early in their lives. I let them know that there was no such thing as a stupid question and that there were no subjects that were out of bounds. We really had some interesting discussions. Some of them were theological. Some of them were blunt talks about the “facts of life.” Others were about sports, girls, politics, morals, clothes, careers, hobbies, places to live, places to go, and the list goes on.

Lesson 9: Fun and Humor Is Healthy

The Rainer house was a fun place to be. I think that’s why we became a hangout on the east side of town. All three of my boys have a great sense of humor.

Our three sons like to joke with one another. They especially enjoy making fun of their old man. Because they had to endure hundreds of my sermons and speeches, they frequently would imitate my mannerisms and frequently repeated phrases. Their mother enjoyed popping paper bags behind them when they were not aware she was in the room.

Lesson 10: Admit Your Mistakes

Art and his brothers have taught me much as they have raised their dad. My natural and sinful tendency was to speak quickly and harshly when one of the boys was out of line. I blew it many times as a father. But my boys have taught me to think before I speak and to be willing to ask for forgiveness when I was wrong. They have indeed raised Dad well.

Lesson 11: Know When to Let Go, Know When to Hold

Indeed, there were not many things that I did not share with my sons. And there were not many emotions I left unchecked.

On the one hand, this transparency is good. My boys knew where I stood on almost all issues. They knew they could get clear and non-evasive answers from me. And they knew how I felt at almost all times. There was no doubt how Dad was feeling in the Rainer home.

On the other hand, I was often transparent to a fault. Kids need to be kids, and they do not need to be exposed to every feeling and concern parents have. I needed to protect them from the harsh world more than I did, instead of letting them hear almost every fear and problem with which I struggled.

Some parents never let their children see the real mom and dad. And some parents let their kids see too much. I was guilty of the latter.

Lesson 12: There Is Nothing More Important than a Child’s Eternity

“Lord, please look over our sons. Keep them in Your protective and loving hands. Help us to be the type of parents that show Your love. And we pray for the salvation of our sons. We ask that they hear clearly one day the gospel message, and that they accept and follow Your Son Jesus.”

Those words, or words similar to those, were prayed by Nellie Jo and me on a regular basis. We do want the best for our sons in this life. But this life is so incredibly brief. Our most fervent prayer was for each of the boys to become a Christian so that their eternities would be secure.

God has answered our prayers. Very few dads have had the incredible privilege to do what I did. I baptized each of my sons after they became followers of Christ. Those were moments that I cherished, moments that moved me to tears.

Though I was imperfect, I tried to model Christ to my sons. I wanted them to see Him in both my words and actions. I wanted them to have the freedom to talk with me about anything, especially spiritual matters.

God answered our prayers. The most important gift a child can receive is the gift of salvation in Christ. And I thank God that He used Nellie Jo and me as His instruments in their eternities.
Read more at http://www.christianpost.com/news/12-lessons-of-fatherhood-77761/#7pdIL0F1YDpVpOKR.99

Nov 16
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Conditioner and What It Reveals About All Of US

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Earlier today I found myself using Conditioner…

I don’t have any hair. Why was I using Conditioner?

What was I thinking?

Apparently, I wasn’t thinking.

How does this even happen?

Do I do ridiculous things like this in other areas of my life?

No conditioner needed

When the conditioner was thought to be needed

First off, Conditioner is that stuff you put on your hair after shampoo-ing so your hair will be all shiny and soft. I clearly have no need for conditioner, but it hasn’t always been this way. I once had a full head of hair. Hair that looked like it came directly off of a romance novel. Hair that blew enchantingly in the wind. Hair that would look great in a discount catalog or picture frame at a store. Those days are gone…So what am I doing throwing conditioner in my, check that, on my head?  The answer:

No one knows. But I think it is symptomatic of something all of us do. Each of us think we are better than we are. Whether consciously or not, we struggle to believe the reality of our situation. We are not talking about hair anymore are we?

Though I have gone to church for a long time, heard the Gospel again and again, I can still forget how I have nothing to offer apart from God. Too often I can try to be good enough or more “christian” instead of relying on the grace God has given. In these moments, I am acting just like the bald guy applying conditioner.  I can apply all I want, but it’s not going to help my hair, because there is no amount of product to help. I can try to add conditioner to my life, try harder, polish up the dirty parts, but no amount of scrubbing will make me any more acceptable to the Lord.This is your story as well, though you may still have an incredible head of hair. Trying to be shiny is entirely different than being made holy. God alone redeems sinners. We can foolishly attempt to apply conditioner, but it won’t help.

Nov 15
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To Be A Branch Bearing Much Fruit

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If we are abiding in Jesus, let us begin to work. Let us first seek to influence those around us in daily life. Let us accept distinctly and joyfully our holy calling, that we are even now to live as the servants of the love of Jesus to our fellow-men. Our daily life must have for its object the making of an impression favorable to Jesus. When you look at the branch, you see at once the likeness to the Vine. We must live so that somewhat of the holiness and the gentleness of Jesus may shine out in us. We must live to represent Him. As was the case with Him when on earth, the life must prepare the way for the teaching. What the Church and the world both need is this: men and women full of the Holy Ghost and of love, who, as the living embodiments of the grace and power of Christ, witness for Him, and for His power on behalf of those who believe in Him. Living so, with our hearts longing to have Jesus glorified in the souls He is seeking after, let us offer ourselves to Him for direct work. There is work in our own home. There is work among the sick, the poor, and the outcast. There is work in a hundred different paths which the Spirit of Christ opens up through those who allow themselves to be led by Him. There is work perhaps for us in ways that have not yet been opened up by others. Abiding in Christ, let us work. Let us work, not like those who are content if they now follow the fashion, and take some share in religious work. No; let us work as those who are growing more like Christ, because they are abiding in Him, and who, like Him, count the work of winning souls to the Father the very joy and glory of heaven begun on earth.

If you work, abide in Christ. This is one of the blessings of work if done in the right spirit—it will deepen your union with your blessed Lord. It will discover your weakness, and throw you back on His strength. It will stir you to much prayer; and in prayer for others is the time when the soul, forgetful of itself, unconsciously grows deeper into Christ. It will make clearer to you the true nature of branch-life; its absolute dependence, and at the same time its glorious sufficiency—independent of all else, because dependent on Jesus. If you work, abide in Christ. There are temptations and dangers. Work for Christ has sometimes drawn away from Christ, and taken the place of fellowship with Him. Work can sometimes give a form of godliness without the power. As you work, abide in Christ. Let a living faith in Christ working in you be the secret spring of all your work; this will inspire at once humility and courage. Let the Holy Spirit of Jesus dwell in you as the Spirit of His tender compassion and His divine power. Abide in Christ, and offer every faculty of your nature freely and unreservedly to Him, to sanctify it for Himself. If Jesus Christ is really to work through us, it needs an entire consecration of ourselves to Him, daily renewed. But we understand now, just this is abiding in Christ; just this it is that constitutes our highest privilege and happiness. To be a branch bearing much fruit—nothing less, nothing more—be this our only joy.

Andrew Murray, Abide in Christ (Kindle Edition)

Nov 15
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The Heartbeat

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5 He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, 6 that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, 7so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments; 8and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.

 (Psalm 78:5-8)

 

This is one of the passages the Lord has used to drive our passion for ministry to children and parents.  It’s our desire that the children at Heritage would surpass the generation before them in faith and knowledge and love. Like the Psalmist, we hope that the next generation will learn from the mistakes and the rebellion of our generation and firmly set their hope in God.  As John says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth”(3 John 1:4).  We must be faithful to nurture the faith of the children who have been entrusted to us.

There is growing concern about the low standards and expectations for ministry to children in many churches today.  A popular conviction expressed by many contemporary children’s ministry leaders is that “kids should have fun in church…they should have positive experiences in church so that when they grow older they will continue to enjoy coming to church.”  We certainly want children to enjoy their time at church, but ”fun” is not the main objective of our children’s ministry…or any other ministry at Heritage for that matter.  As a church we want people to feel welcomed and comfortable but if this becomes our primary goal we will soon find ourselves identifying more with Disneyland than we do with the Disciples.  Fun and friendships are significant, but they must remain secondary values.

Our ministry to children and parents seeks to be God-centered rather than man-centered.  God, rather than man, is the main character in the Bible.  The stories of Noah, Moses, David and Jonah are not about their courage or faith or accuracy with a slingshot.  Instead, these stories reveal a personal, trustworthy, gracious, merciful God interacting with fallen man to accomplish His will.  He is the giver and He gets the glory.  We are blessed to be a part of His story.  By God’s grace we are privileged to be called: children of God, ambassador for Christ, a royal priesthood and ministers of reconciliation.  While all of this is true, the focus of Scripture is on the glory of God, not man.  Our focus therefore must be on God rather than man.

This philosophy of ministry steers everything we do from the curriculum we use, to the programs we plan, to how we communicate with children, parents and leaders.  By no means do we have it all figured out, but by God’s grace we are continuously seeking to please the Lord rather than man.  In the long run, this is the best thing we can do to influence the next generation.

Nov 15
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MORE Practical Suggestions from Noel Piper

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What Happens During Service?

During service, we all sit or stand along with rest of the congregation. I share my Bible or hymnal or worship folder with my little one, because use of these is an important part of the service.

The beginning of the sermon is the signal for “notetaking” to begin. (I want a child’s activities to be related to the service. So we don’t bring library books to read. I do let a very young child look at pictures in his Bible, if he can do it quietly.) Notetaking doesn’t mean just scribbling, but “taking notes” on a special pad used just for service.  “Taking notes” grows up as the child does. At first he draws pictures of what he hears in the sermon. Individual words or names trigger individual pictures. You might pick out a word that will be used frequently in the sermon; have the child listen carefully and make a check mark in his “notes” each time he hears the word. Later he may want to copy letters or words from the Scripture passage for the morning. When spelling comes easier, he will write words and then phrases he hears in the sermon. Before you might expect it, he will probably be outlining the sermon and noting whole concepts.

Goals and Requirements

My training for worship has three main goals:

  • That children learn early and as well as they can to worship God heartily.
  • That parents be able to worship.
  • That families cause no distraction to the people around them.

So there are certain expectations that I teach the young ones and expect of the older ones:

  • Sit or stand or close eyes when the service calls for it.
  • Sit up straight and still—not lounging or fidgeting or crawling around, but respectful toward God and the worshipers around you.
  • Keep bulletin papers and Bible and hymnal pages as quiet as possible.
  • Stay awake. Taking notes helps. (I did allow the smallest ones to sleep, but they usually didn’t need to!)
  • Look toward the worship leaders in the front. No people-gazing or clock-watching.
  • If you can read fast enough, sing along with the printed words. At least keep your eyes on the words and try to think them. If you can’t read yet, listen very hard.

Creating an Environment in the Pew

For my part, I try to create an environment in our pew that makes worship easier. In past years, I would sit between whichever two were having the most trouble with each other that day. We choose seats where we can see the front better (while seated, not kneeling on the pew; kneeling leads to squirming and blocks the view of others). Each child has a Bible, offering money and worship folder at hand, so he doesn’t have to scramble and dig during the worship time.

Afterward

When the service has ended, my first words are praise to the child who has behaved well. In addition to the praise, I might also mention one or two things that we both hope will be better next time.

But what if there has been disregard of our established expectations and little attempt to behave? The first thing that happens following the service is a silent and immediate trip to the most private place we can find. Then the deserved words are spoken and consequences administered or promised.

Closeness and Warmth

On the rare occasions when my pastor-husband can sit with the rest of us, the youngest one climbs right into his lap—and is more attentive and still than usual. What a wonderful thing for a young mind to closely associate the closeness and warmth of a parent’s lap with special God-times.

A child gets almost the same feeling from being next to his parent or from an arm around the shoulder or an affectionate hand on the knee.

The setting of the tight family circle focusing toward God will be a nonverbal picture growing richer and richer in the child’s mind and heart as he matures in appreciation for his family and in awe at the greatness of God.

This was originally written by Noel Piper and can be found here.
Nov 15
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Some Practical Suggestions from Noel Piper

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When our four sons grew to be young men, we assumed that the worship-training chapter of our life had ended. But God has wonderful surprises. Our youngest son was 12 when we adopted our daughter, who was just a couple of months old. So our experience with young children in the pew started more than twenty years ago and will continue a while longer.

Getting Started Step by Step

We discovered that the very earliest “school” for worship is in the home—when we help a baby be quiet for just a moment while we ask God’s blessing on our meal; when a toddler is sitting still to listen to a Bible story book; when a child is learning to pay attention to God’s Word and to pray during family devotional times.

At church, even while our children were still nursery-aged, I began to help them take steps toward eventual regular attendance in Sunday morning worship service. I used other gatherings as a training ground—baptisms, choir concerts, missionary videos or other special events that would grab the attention of a 3-year-old. I’d “promote” these to the child as something exciting and grown-up. The occasional special attendance gradually developed into regular evening attendance, while at the same time we were beginning to attempt Sunday mornings more and more regularly.

I’ve chosen not to use the church’s child care as an escape route when the service becomes long or the child gets restless. I don’t want to communicate that you go to a service as long as it seems interesting, and then you can go play. And I wanted to avoid a pattern that might reinforce the idea that all of the service is good, up until the preaching of God’s Word—then you can leave.

Of course, there are times when a child gets restless or noisy, despite a parent’s best efforts. I pray for the understanding of the people around me, and try to deal with the problem unobtrusively. But if the child won’t be quiet or still, I take him or her out—for the sake of quick discipline and for the sake of the other worshipers. Then I have to decide whether we’ll slip back into service or stay in the area reserved for parents with young children. It depends on how responsive the child seems and whether there’s an appropriate moment in the flow of the service. If we stay in the “family area” outside the sanctuary, I help my child sit quietly as if we were still in the sanctuary. By the time they are four years old, our children assume that they’ll be at all the regular weekly services with us.

Preparation All Week Long

Your anticipation and conversation before and after service and during the week will be important in helping your child learn to love worship and to behave well in service. Help your children become acquainted with your pastor. Let them shake hands with him at the door and be greeted by him. Talk about who the worship leaders are; call them by name. Suggest that your child’s Sunday School teacher invite the pastor to spend a few minutes with the children if your church’s Sunday morning schedule allows for that.

If you know what the Scripture passage will be for the coming Sunday, read it together several times during the week. A little one’s face really lights up when he hears familiar words from the pulpit.

Talk about what is “special” this week: a trumpet solo, a friend singing, a missionary speaker from a country you have been praying for.  Sometimes you can take the regular elements of the service and make them part of the anticipation. “We’ve been reading about Joseph. What do you think the pastor will say about him?” “What might the choir be singing this morning?” “Maybe we can sit next to our handicapped friend and help him with his hymnbook so he can worship better too.”

There are two additional and important pre-service preparations for us: a pen and notepad for “Sunday notes” and a trip to the rest room (leaving the service is highly discouraged).

 

Read Part 2 of this post here.

This was written by Noel Piper and can be found in it’s entirety here.

 

Nov 15
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Why Not Children’s Church?

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At Heritage we urge parents to bring their children with them to the worship service.  We recognize worshipping together counters the contemporary fragmentation of families.  It seems that our culture, and often the church, feels the need to cater to and focus on each and every member of a family in a separate and unique way.  We recognize that children and adults can certainly benefit from age-specific teaching and fellowship opportunities and those opportunities are regularly a part of our weekly schedule during the Sunday school hour and Wednesday night programming.  Having said that, it’s also incredibly important to do things as a family, to defer to one another, to share experiences of faith together.

Hectic American life leaves little time for significant togetherness.  It’s hard to overestimate the power of families doing valuable things together week in and week out, year in and year out.   We believe a weekly corporate worship gathering can be an extremely valuable time for families, especially in regards to the faith development of children.  The cumulative effect of over 650 worship services with Mom and Dad between the ages of 4 and 17 is incalculable.

Parents have the responsibility to teach their children by their own example the meaning and value of worship.  Therefore, parents should want their children with them in the worship service so the children can see their parents worship the Lord.  From an early age children should see Mom and Dad bow their heads in earnest prayer. They should see how Mom and Dad sing praise to God with joy in their faces and how they eagerly listen to His Word being preached.

We recognize it may be easier and more convenient for parents to send their children to “children’s church” so they can be free from the responsibility of shepherding them during the service but this responsibility is God given and should be counted as a privilege.  Like most of our attempts to shepherd and discipline our children; easy is rarely best.   We are compelled to encourage parents to take full advantage of the precious opportunity to worship as a family.

With this conviction in mind, Heritage offers childcare options during the service for children birth thru 4-years-of-age. We encourage parents to bring their children into the service as early as possible.  To sit still and be quiet for an hour or an hour-and-a-half on Sunday is not an excessive expectation for a 5-year-old who has been taught to obey his parents.  It requires a measure of discipline, but that is precisely what we want to encourage parents to impart to their children in the first five years. Special arrangements can certainly be made for families with special circumstances.

It’s important to note that children absorb a tremendous amount that is of value, even if they say they are bored.  Music becomes familiar. The message of the songs will begin to sink in.  Even if most of the sermon goes over their heads, experience shows that children hear and remember far more than we give them credit.  These shared experiences provide for natural follow-up conversations about things like: baptism, the Lord’s Supper, the children’s message or what sanctification means.  Oh, how precious these conversations are between and parent and child.

It is to be expected that bringing children into the service at an early age will likely mean there will be momentary disruptions and at times Mom or Dad will need to exit the service occasionally to continue training.  We do not expect children to obey perfectly and remain in constant silence throughout the service.  We recognize there will be an occasional crackle of a candy wrapper or dropped Bible or an unusually loud whisper.  Instead of being overly uptight and distracted by these minor interruptions, it is our desire that these moments would cause us all to worship the Lord.  Let it be a reminder of how precious these dear children are.  May we be filled with gratitude that they are with us in these moments.  May we be reminded in the “interruption” that we have a great responsibility to point them to Christ. There is no greater calling.

For some practical suggestions on how to bring your children in to the service I would encourage you to read “Some Practical Suggestions from Noel Piper.” Let me reiterate, it is our desire to support parents as they strive to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.  If we can help serve or equip you or if you should have any questions please contact Shawn McGill or Chad “Kicker” Kositzky.

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