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The Joy of Spiritual Fellowship

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September saw the release of Thabiti Anyabwile’s most recent book The Life of God in the Soul of the Church. I had the privilege of reading the book well before publication and for some time now have been wanting to draw your attention to the closing pages which offer an interesting little glimpse of ministry in a very different context. As it does that it challenges each one of us in our relationships with other Christians and displays the joy of spiritual fellowship. Here is one of Thabiti’s early experiences of ministry on Grand Cayman.

When I first arrived at First Baptist Church of Grand Cayman (Cayman Islands), I found a gentle, humble, eager-to-be-taught congregation of saints. From our arrival, greeted by a couple of dozen members of the congregation, my family and I have received nothing but warmth and love from the church.

However, a few weeks into our service here, we noticed a couple of things that struck us as odd. First, everyone we invited to our home for Sunday dinner turned us down. They were polite, and perhaps a little embarrassed. But everyone we welcomed to our home met us with the same reply. ‘Thanks for the invitation. But we already have plans.’

Second, we noticed that the church became a ghost town almost immediately following the service. There were a handful of people who lingered to greet others. But in those first few months we were in danger of recognizing people only by the back of their heads.

Was my preaching that bad? Was our company that unwanted?

As it turns out, we had a few things to learn about the culture of the Cayman Islands. Unlike most parts of the United States, where we are from, Caymanian culture remains very family-centered. Sundays after church means visiting mom and dad for family dinner with the extended kin. Not coming for family dinner is hardly imaginable. We were unknowingly kicking against the goads of a good cultural value and practice. So, we began to invite people on week nights and our social calendar began to fill.

But we also learned something else about our new church family. They had not yet learned the joy of spiritual fellowship. That’s not to say there weren’t genuine and long-standing friendships, or to say that people did not care for one another. We could see lots of people caring for others and enjoying lasting friendships. However, such caring and friendship tended to occur in smaller clusters of rather homogeneous groups. The caring was rooted in friendship, not in Christ and His body as a whole.

Two conversations stand out to me as defining moments for that first year. The first was a midweek dinner with an older couple in the church. They had become dear to us very quickly, adoptive parents in our new homeland. My wife and I decided to have them over simply to fellowship with them. About ten minutes into the meal, the wife of the couple gently laid down her knife and fork beside her plate. She placed her hands flatly on the table and sat upright in her chair. Then in a no-nonsense voice she said, ‘Okay. I can’t take this any longer. Why are we here? Did we do something wrong? Are we in trouble?’ The husband, surprised by the timing of his wife’s query, slowly lowered the fork an inch away from delivering chicken to his mouth. His face said the timing, not the question, surprised him. It was clear they both wondered why they had been invited.

My wife and I explained that there was no agenda other than to enjoy one another’s company, exchange our testimonies, and to perhaps encourage one another with discussion of our Lord and His work in our lives. As we explained, their shoulders relaxed. Smiles returned to their faces. We began to eat again. Then she explained, ‘I’ve been at the church for twenty years, and I’ve never been invited to a pastor’s home.’ You could have knocked me over with a feather. The Lord stamped that dinner conversation on my mind as an indication that we would need to set an example in recovering the biblical art of spiritual fellowship.

The second conversation—actually a recurring conversation—took place after our church services or over meals with members. It’s been my custom, learned from those faithful saints who discipled me, to ask Christians about their spiritual lives. Sometimes the questions are very general: ‘How is your spiritual life?’ Other times the questions are more specific or probing: ‘Tell me, what are you learning about our Lord these days that’s keeping you close to Him? How is your battle for joy or against sin? ’

As I asked these questions in that first year or two, the most frequent responses were: ‘That’s a tough question to answer,’ and, ‘I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.’ I receive those responses even when asking people the most basic spiritual questions.

From those exchanges, the Lord impressed upon me the need to root our spiritual relationships in the rich soil of gospel and biblical truth. We would need a community or culture of meaningful membership, widespread relationships and affection, and persistent inquiry and encouragement in our spiritual lives.

 

This post is from Tim Challies and can be found on his blog, here.

Twitter “Bible”? Ohhhh yeeaaaahhhhhh.

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Did you know there is a Twitter Bible just in time for the super spiritual gift giving season of our Lord, otherwise known as Christmas? Apparently it summarizes the over 31,000-verse Bible into nearly 4,000 little “Mini-Messages”.

It was originally called “And God Decided to Chill”, the book is the compilation of tweets by more than 3,000 Christians who participated in the church project earlier this year. In honor of the Pentecost holiday, they used the micro-blogging service Twitter to summarize 3,906 Bible sections into 140 character messages, according to Berlin-based newspaper “The Local.” Though the project was scheduled for May 20-30, it was completed 37 hours ahead of schedule and achieved a world record.

At this point I have so lost sight of the point due to my own fascination with breaking a world record. I may or may not get back to the original point in writing this. I had never thought of breaking a world record by stripping the Bible of content and robbing it of it’s meat. There have been thoughts of starting my cereal milk business by changing the Lord’s Supper to the Lord’s Breakfast. But now my mind is racing on how I can break a record.

The tweets were sometimes entertaining, such as the tweet describing God’s day of rest after creation: “Thank God! It’s Sunday!”  Melanie Huber, portal manager of the Protestant Website putting this on said about the initiative: “We want with this action to encourage a debate about the Bible and to simultaneously show the modern possibilities that exist to receive and make known the Word of God,

Wow! This may actually be the spark of creative genius that launches my cereal milk business. It is for the Gospel… I want to make the substitutionary sacrifice of the Son of God known to the world and the method I will use is really not the point. So I’m going to replace the sacrament of drinking the symbolic blood of Jesus with drinking the (cereal) milk of the lamb. No harm done, right? I think it would spark debate. Certainly people would be arguing over which flavor best represents the atonement and people will come to love Jesus because hey, who doesn’t love cereal?

Similarly in the United States, many Christian leaders have found Twitter to be an effective ministry tool to share the Word of God. Some U.S. churches have even embraced the micro-blogging service to the point of flashing tweets from worshippers on large video screens during Sunday service.

Apologies for not getting to my commentary on this story, but I am deep into my fantasies of reaching the lost through “The Lord’s Breakfast”, cereal milk of the atonement.  It appears as if Newton’s AppleJacks just fell on my head with this marketing epipheny: People could “tweet” their love for cereal milk communion during the actual service, on the screens. Something like a spontaneous clap offering or something. I’m certain I would love it and my guess is if the tweets said something about Jesus, He would receive glory.

Clearly I am too busy to give commentary on this story. I’m off to get my product, errrr… our elements for this worship experience ready.  So, in lieu of my witty thoughts I will leave you with this.

God is good…. All the time.

A Wasted Life

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Let this not be said of us…

 

“Now we see that in creating us for his glory, [God] is creating us for our highest joy. He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. … God created us to live with a single passion to joyfully display his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life. The wasted life is the life without this passion.” (pp.36-37, “Don’t Waste Your Life”, John Piper)

“Christ is the glory of God. His bloodsoaked cross is the blazing center of that glory. By it he bought for us every blessing—temporal and eternal. And we don’t deserve any. He bought them all. Because of Christ’s cross, God’s elect are destined to be sons of God. Because of his cross, the wrath of God is taken away. Because of his cross all guilt is removed, and sins are forgiven, and perfect righteousness is imputed to us, and the love of God is poured out in our hearts by the Spirit, and we are being conformed to the image of Christ.

Therefore every enjoyment in this life and the next that is not idolatry is a tribute to the infinite value of the cross of Christ—the burning center of the glory of God. And thus a cross-centered, cross-exalting, cross-saturated life is a God-glorifying life—the only God-glorifying life. All others are wasted.” (p.59, “Don’t Waste Your Life”, John Piper)

Come and Rest – It Is Finished

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20121128-165046.jpg
This is a photo of Shiite Muslims in New Delhi, India flagellating themselves in honor of the grandson of Mohammad. As I study this image, I experience a mixture of feelings and convictions.

Resonance — I understand deep in my bones the essence of this impulse. The inclination to self-abasement as justification is embedded in each one of us. These men have the courage to indulge it, to take it seriously enough to harm themselves as some form of propitiation. They know a gap between themselves and holiness must be bridged.

Fear — Because of the resonance, I am fearful. For them and of myself. It is not really humility that drives self-justification but pride, and pride is not something to be indulged, even if on the surface it appears to be assaulted.

Pity — I feel sorry for them for not knowing the gospel, or for having rejected it. I pity them for believing the bridge can be built by their own blood. I pity them for thinking they must beat themselves up to be righteous.

Gratitude — I am so very thankful for Christ and his gospel. Christ is my righteousness because he — the sinless Man — took the stripes I deserve. Which means I don’t have to take them any more. I don’t have to beat myself up to honor him. By self-flagellation, literal or metaphorical, will no man be justified. I am thankful that Christ bore my sins to kill them and leave them dead, and therefore the burden he holds out is easy, the yoke he fits to my neck is light. He bids me come and rest because the bloody work of justification is finished.

This was originally posted on the Gospel Coalition, here.

Sexual Sanity and Healing Wounded Hearts

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There’s little doubt that pornography is a modern-day plague. Though pornography has always existed in one form or another, the Internet has created a medium through which it can be disseminated both widely and discreetly. Almost an entire generation of boys has succumbed at one time or another, with a new generation quickly falling into all of the same traps. And it has not just been boys; many men have found the temptation irresistible (and, of course, not a few women). While there are some who try to downplay pornography’s impact on life and marriage, evidence is mounting that it is a terribly destructive force.

Two new books from New Growth Press address the issue head-on. One targets men who are struggling with pornography or any other manner of sexual sin and the other brings help and healing to women who have found that their husbands have an addiction.

David White’s Sexual Sanity for Men seeks to help men “understand that sexual sin starts in their minds and hearts and shows them how knowing Christ breaks their chains, builds spiritual brotherhood, and helps them take practical steps to re-create their minds in a God-focused direction.” This is a study or a course as much as a book. It is broken into fourteen chapters, each of which has five parts. The idea is that you will read one chapter per week, and one part per weekday, and hopefully meet with other men along the way. There is a downloadable leader’s guide that allows it to be structured as a group study.

The heart of the book is helping men re-create their minds through the power of the Holy Spirit so that they are able to make choices that are sexually sane. Paul Tripp says it well in his endorsement:

I know of no resource for men who are struggling with sexual sin that is more soundly biblical, drenched with the gospel, and practical at the street level. I am thankful that this resource now exists and will recommend it again and again. Here is a welcome for men to come out of hiding, to embrace that there is nothing that could be revealed about them that hasn’t already been covered by the blood of Jesus, and to believe that God has given them every grace they need to fight the battle with sexual sin.

Meanwhile Vicki Tiede has written When Your Husband is Addicted to Pornography. (Long-time readers of the blog may remember that I interviewed Tiede early in 2011 and at that time she mentioned that she was working on the book.) This book is meant for the women—the thousands or millions of women—who have been left shattered and betrayed when they have found out that their husband has an addiction to pornography. In many ways Tiede has the more difficult task; the men have sinned and have now to put sin to death; the wives have been sinned against and have to deal with the betrayal and heartbreak and bitterness.

Tiede writes from personal experience here and gently guides women away from anger and despair and toward healing. The book promises that “Through daily readings and questions on six important topics: hope, surrender, trust, identity, brokenness, and forgiveness, you will grow in healing and hope. Allowing God to meet your greatest needs is a long and learned process, but he promises to help you every step of the way.” Much like White’s book, this one is structured as a series of daily readings of five per week for six weeks. It is equally drenched in the gospel and equally practical. I had the opportunity to read it before it was published and to write this endorsement:

A porn plague is raging in homes across the world today, and for every addicted husband there is a brokenhearted wife. While there is an abundance of powerful, biblical resources to help men overcome addiction, their wives have largely been overlooked. I am grateful that Vicki Tiede has filled that void. In a book that is sensitive, biblical, and conversational, she comes alongside hurting women as a friend and guides them to the hope and peace only the gospel can give.

Though much has been written on the subject, each of these books has a niche all its own. White gives men the time they may need to overcome an addiction and to retrain their minds, something that usually cannot be accomplished overnight or through a quick reading a single book. Tiede eschews easy answers and calls women to the kind of action that will take time and conviction.

Both Sexual Sanity for Men and When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography are well-written, well-formed, and much-needed books. Any of us can benefit from reading these books and every pastor or counselor will want to keep some on hand.

When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography is available at Amazon ($9.99 Kindle and $15.99 Paperback)
Sexual Sanity for Men is available at Amazon ($9.99 Kindle) and Westminster Books ($14.39 Paperback)

Article written by Tim Challies and can be found on his blog here.

Violence against women: the rage of the flesh

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Violence against women is a sin of an extreme nature. It is the opposite of Christ, who loved His bride and sacrificed Himself for her, to dignify her with eternal glory (Ephesians 5:25-27). Therefore, anyone who loves the Christian gospel must oppose violence against women as a sin against our Lord Himself.

But violence against women is wrong for another reason, a very personal reason that goes to the core of what a man is. This reason will mean nothing to some people, but in fact it is the deepest root of this sin and points to the only true remedy.

Violence against women is the rage of the flesh, utterly contrary to the Holy Spirit. According to the New Testament, the flesh – that is, our natural moral psychology, marked by selfish demandingness and excuses and superiority and swagger – proves itself in obvious ways: “. . . enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger” (Galatians 5:19-21). The rage of the flesh is, in fact, hostility toward God Himself (Romans 8:7).

Sir, if you abuse your wife or daughter or girlfriend, physically or verbally, you are more than a bully. You are the enemy of God. You are usurping his place as Judge. You tell yourself she needs a little roughing up. You tell yourself you are doing her a favor. But you are not a good man. You are an evil man and unqualified to judge. You are under God’s judgment.

Here is the choice you face. Go on justifying yourself, go on blaming her, in which case you will go to hell forever. Or own up to your evil and fall at the feet of Christ, the only Savior of violent bullies. He will amaze you with His forgiveness. He will turn you around, so that you become a Spirit-filled advocate for women, starting with the one you have mistreated.

Your problem is not her. Your problem is the deepest you that you are. And Christ is your only escape from you. Run to Him. He will not abuse you.

 

This article was written by Dr. Ray Ortlund, Lead Pastor of Immanuel Churchin Nashville, Tennessee and a Council member with The Gospel Coalition. It can be found on the Gospel Coalition blog here.

Dear Moms, Jesus Wants You To Quit Giving A Rip What People Think About You

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I write this post at the risk of becoming the world’s first male mommy blogger (even that combination of words makes me feel uncomfortable). But, at the encouragement of my wife, as well as my friend and fellow author Trillia Newbell, I’m going to write one more post. Deep breath…feeling secure in my manhood…here goes.

Moms, you really need to stop giving a rip what other people think about you.

I know that it’s tough. You go on Facebook and  see comments like, “Any mom who bottle feeds her baby must be devil spawn!” Or,  you’re in the moms and infants room at church, and someone says, “I just can’t see how any godly, loving parent could send their children to public school.” Or someone includes you on an email that includes a rather shakily researched article about how all processed food absolutely causes cancer. The email concludes by saying, “We can’t stand for this any longer!” You happen to be eating a bowl of Lucky Charms as you read the article.

When you read these things and hear these comments, my guess is that you’re tempted to think, I’m an absolutely terrible mother! And everyone knows it! Everyone knows that I bottle feed my kids, send them to public school, and regularly feed them Lunchables! And God is probably displeased with me too, because I’m not loving my kids enough. You can feel the opinions of others breathing down your neck. You start making plans. Only organic from here on out. Homeschool, or unschool, or private school…or military school. No more television. Ever. Unless it’s an educational documentary on PBS, and even that is questionable. Awww shoot, you already vaccinated your kids! Is there a way to unvaccinate them?

Stop. Okay? Just stop. Finish your Lucky Charms, eat a big bowl of gluten, then come back and finish this article.

Now please understand, this is not an article in favor of or against schooling, vaccinations, organic food, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, television or anything else. This is an article AGAINST sinful fear of man and being overly concerned with what others think about you.

Moms, your security and identity are not found in a particular practice of parenting. Your security and identity are found in Jesus Christ. If you have trusted in Christ as Savior, you are joined to Christ. If you are joined to Christ, that means that God wholeheartedly, unabashedly, without reservation approves of you. He delights in you. You are his daughter. He sings over you. You can rest in that. It doesn’t matter what other moms think of you. It doesn’t matter if they don’t like the fact that you feed your kids bologna sandwiches for lunch. You have all the approval you need in God, through Christ.

Your job as a mom is to first and foremost, love God with all your heart. Run hard after him. Pursue holiness and godliness. Read the Bible and pray your heart out. Your second job is to love others. If you’re married, worry more about pleasing your husband than pleasing other moms (husbands should do the same, but that’s for another post). If you and your husband come to the conviction that you should feed your children organic food, great! If the two of you realize that you can’t go hard core organic for cost reasons, that’s also great! Whatever you do, don’t let the fear of what others think guide your actions.

When it comes to your kids, your main job description is to raise them up in the ways of the Lord. It would be better to feed your kids Lucky Charms than to spend hours researching a particular subject and neglect this primary duty. Focus on raising your kids to love Jesus. If you come to the conviction that you should send your kids to private school, that’s fine. But don’t do it out of fear of what others think. Let your thinking be shaped by God’s word, not the words of others.

Remember, the fear of man is a snare (Proverbs 29:25). It will actually snare you as you seek to be a mom. So rest in Christ. In Christ, God approves of you. Completely. 100%. Not 99.9%, 100%. Obey God’s word, pursue holiness, love your spouse, love your kids, and hold the rest loosely. If people don’t approve, who cares?

The next time you’re tempted to worry what others think about you, remember that you are secure in God, and that’s all that matters.

 

This post was written by Stephen Altrogge and can be found on his blog, here.

Dear Moms, Jesus Wants You to Run

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“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…” Hebrews 12:1-2

There is an article by Stephen Altrogge making the rounds on social media this week titled “Dear Moms, Jesus Wants You to Chill Out.” It is a great post, reminding moms that the yoke of legalism is a heavy burden to bear, and that majoring in the minors does nothing to help us love God, our spouses or our children better. I applaud Altrogge’s insight into the comparison-plagued mind of the typical Christian mom, daily sailing between the Scylla-and-Charybdis scenarios of motherhood (doctor or doula? Bottle or breast? Gluttony or gluten-free? Public or private? And on we sail…) Modern moms are so often characterized by (and crushed by) the side-long glance of comparison.

But are all comparisons to others harmful to our mothering?  I don’t think so. In Hebrews 11-12, scripture challenges believers to look to those who have gone before – Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, Rahab – those who endured great hardship and opposition for the sake of doing exactly the thing Altrogge (and Jesus) want us to do: Grow in holiness by loving God and others. What is mothering, if not a race for holiness? Hebrews 11-12 gives us a comparison that is worth our time – a comparison not to those who majored in the minors of legalistic one-upsmanship, but to those who majored in the majors of faith-bolstered preferential love of God and others. And it calls them as witnesses to our own efforts.

That makes this mom want to get off the couch.

It makes me want to redouble my efforts to fix my eyes on Jesus and on the faces of those he has entrusted to my care, to fix my thoughts on the transforming grace of the cross so that my life models holiness to my kids, to fix my efforts on creating a home that celebrates what God celebrates – shared time, shared faith, shared affection. Moms, daily remind yourselves not to major in the minors, but do something else as well: daily remind yourselves to major in the majors.

In matters of legalism, rest – yes – but in matters of holiness, run. Run like your hair is on fire. Cast off everything that hinders: all false measures of righteousness cloaked as homemade bread or spotless kitchen surfaces. But let your newly-found chill mentality toward Pinterest and June Cleaver free up energy to run the race that counts. Because this good work of loving God and loving others is a race for the fit and the fleet, particularly if you’re a mom. Psychologists tell us that a child’s moral framework – the way they view right and wrong – begins forming at eighteen months and is set by around age eleven.  So if you thought you had eighteen years to train them in the fear and admonition of the Lord, you might want to bump up your timetable. You might want to run.

In the faith-fueled race of holiness, some days you will run well and some days you will run out of steam. There is grace for that, and majoring in the majors will require you to draw on it constantly. But get up and run again. Your family does not need you to bake the perfect pie, but they do need you to run with endurance the race marked out for you—a race that we run for the joy set before us: the joy of running in the very steps of Christ. Not an easy race, no, but a course we can surely complete because of the completed work of the cross. Dear moms, Jesus wants you to run.

 

Jen Wilkin is a wife, mom to four great kids, and an advocate for women to love God with their minds through the faithful study of his Word. She writes, speaks, and teaches women the Bible. She lives in Flower Mound, Texas, and her family calls The Village Church home. You can find her at jenwilkin.blogspot.com. This post was originally found on the Gospel Coalition blog.

The Best Sermon I’ve Ever Heard on Marriage

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Denny Burk preached the best sermon I’ve ever heard on marriage at Kenwood Baptist Church this morning. It was prophetic, powerful, piercing, and poetic.

Denny’s introduction was prophetic:

We all found out last month what the President of the United States thinks about marriage. He sat down for an interview with ABC News and announced to the world [in his own words],

“I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same sex couples should be able to get married…”

He went on,

“[Michelle and I] are both practicing Christians and obviously this position may be considered to put us at odds with the views of others but, you know, when we think about our faith, the thing at root that we think about is, not only Christ sacrificing himself on our behalf, but it’s also the Golden Rule, you know, treat others the way you would want to be treated…”

My reaction to what the President said probably wasn’t that different from yours. I thought that what he said was outrageous. I thought that citing Jesus as if He were in support of sexual immorality was blasphemous. But I also thought, there’s really nothing new here.

The president is a sign of our times not the cause of our times. If you think that the President has caused the massive revolution in our culture on marriage, you are just wrong. The changes have accelerated in the last few years, but the seeds were sown many decades before.

Our culture long ago embraced…

-The sexual revolution of the 60’s and 70’s …

-The idolatry of sex and the diminishing of marriage…

-The ubiquity of the birth control pill and the severing of human sexuality from its connection to children and family.

-No-fault divorce and the idea that we can change spouses like we change sox.

-That there’s no difference between men and women, gender is just a social construct that we learn from culture, not something given to us by God at creation.

-And closely related to this, the idea that gender shouldn’t matter when it comes to human sexuality. And so we have a whole generation of young people who see nothing at all wrong with homosexuality.

No, our culture’s devolution didn’t begin last month with an announcement from the President. This slide has been a long time coming.

Denny’s exposition of Ephesians 5:21–33 that followed this introduction was powerful and piercing, and funny too–you’ll probably hear me belly laughing when you listen to this.

And Denny’s conclusion was poetic. He had me and many others in tears with these words:

I wrote a poem for Susan on our third anniversary that was a bit of a vision of how I was hoping and praying we might end up. It’s a story that ends with a short prayer.

The old man took her tired hand
to hold for one last time.
The years had fin’lly pressed her to
her final breaths of life.

Their wrinkled hands in warm embrace
brought back the long-gone years,
The memories of their happy times,
and those dissolved in tears.

The old man saw in her ill frame
the girl that stole his heart.
He saw in her that gracious gaze
that filled their home with warmth.

His mind turned back to lighter days
when she did make her mark,
The children her love reared for them,
Her single heart for God.

He also felt the weight of grace
that marked her many years,
How she had borne him patiently
when he did cause the tears.

The old man said, “My love, the time
was cruelly short to me.
I cannot say goodbye to you
and let your passing be.”

“How can I ever say farewell
or ever let you part?
You are my only precious thing,
the joy of my old heart.”

And as his eyes began to well,
she reached to touch his face.
And then her quivering voice began
to give one final grace.

“This is the day the Lord has made,
The one He’s brought to pass.
This day was written in His book
before my first was past.”

“The Lord has granted us to spend
together all these years.
He’s also granted all the joy
and even all our tears.”

“And though this is a bitter day,
we owe Him so much thanks.
Dear, we made it! By Him we did!
Yes, we made it! By grace!”

________________________

Oh Father, grant that we may see
our days as at their end.
Oh let us know the weight of grace
in every year we spend.

We make this prayer unto You,

for there is no one higher.
This testimony of Your grace
we desperately desire!

This sermon is not to be missed. Listen here: Denny Burk, Ephesians 5:21–33, Husbands, Wives, and the Glory of God

 

This post was written by Jim Hamilton and can be found here

The Dangerous Worlds of Analog Parents with Digital Teens

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This is rather old in the online sense, but it is a good starting point for parents looking to catch up to their kids or the world around them. The following is a post by Dr. Al Mohler and can be found on his website here.

 

Parents cannot be spectators in the lives of their children, but should set rules, establish expectations, enforce limitations, and constantly monitor their teenagers’ digital lives. Anything less is a form of parental negligence.

Sunday’s edition of The New York Timesgave front-page attention to the problem of adolescent bullying on the Internet. There can be no question that the Internet and the explosion of social media have facilitated the arrival of a new and deeply sinister form of bullying, and the consequences for many teenagers are severe. For some, life becomes a horror story of insults, rumors, slanders, and worse.

Meanwhile, many parents are baffled about how to help — if they are not completely out to lunch.

As Jan Hoffman reports: “It is difficult enough to support one’s child through a siege of schoolyard bullying. But the lawlessness of the Internet, its potential for casual, breathtaking cruelty, and its capacity to cloak a bully’s identity all present slippery new challenges to this transitional generation of analog parents.”

These “analog parents” are often vastly outgunned in terms of expertise with social media as compared to their digital offspring and their adolescent peers. It comes as no surprise, therefore, that the bullies are winning the war.

One New Jersey lawyer asked a room filled with seventh-graders if they had ever been “cyberbullied.” Out of 150 students, 68 raised their hands. She then asked, “How many of your parents know how to help you?” Only three or four hands went up.

As the article reveals, many parents do not even seem to know that the “smart” phones they have given their children are actually mobile computers. Other parents seem oblivious to the fact that these devices both send and receive messages. Still others cling to a dangerous and irresponsible notion of adolescent privacy.

Parents must take control. Arming themselves with knowledge is the first step but summoning the courage to establish clear boundaries, rules, and consequences is of equal importance.

Just two weeks before the cyberbullying story, the paper ran another front-page article on the distracted nature of digital adolescents. Reporter Matt Richtel told of teenagers who were seemingly unable to do their homework and reading assignments, simply because they could not put away their digital devices.

For 17-year-old Vishal Singh, the book always seems to lose out to the computer. Representative of millions of his peers, Vishal feels much more at home in the virtual world of his digital life than in the real world, where books must be read, tests must be taken, and grades will be assigned.

Consider these paragraphs:

[Vishal] also plays video games 10 hours a week. He regularly sends Facebook status updates at 2 a.m., even on school nights, and has such a reputation for distributing links to videos that his best friend calls him a “YouTube bully.”

Several teachers call Vishal one of their brightest students, and they wonder why things are not adding up. Last semester, his grade point average was 2.3 after a D-plus in English and an F in Algebra II. He got an A in film critique.

“He’s a kid caught between two worlds,” said Mr. Reilly [his school principal] — one that is virtual and one with real-life demands.

Both Vishal and his mother agree that he lacks the self-control to turn off the computer and open the book. He is not alone. Richtel tells of Allison Miller, 14, who “sends and receives 27,000 texts in a month, her fingers clicking at a blistering pace as she carries on as many as seven text conversations at a time.” Sean McMullen, a 12th-grader, plays video games for four hours a day on school days and doubles that on weekends. These teenagers are not isolated cases — they represent what constitutes a new normal among American adolescents.

This sentence from the article is particularly haunting: “He [Sean] says he sometimes wishes that his parents would force him to quit playing and study, because he finds it hard to quit when given the choice.” Are they listening?

Both articles are worth a closer look, but the imperative to parents is clear enough. Parents of adolescents and young people cannot afford to be stuck in an analog world with outdated expertise, even as their offspring are digital natives living in an increasingly distracted and dangerous world.

Parents cannot be spectators in the lives of their children, but they should set rules, establish expectations, enforce limitations, and constantly monitor their teenagers’ digital lives. Anything less is a form of parental negligence.

When a teenage boy tells a newspaper reporter that he wishes his parents would force him to turn off his digital devices and do his homework, we can only wonder if his clueless parents will ever get the message.

The New York Times deserves credit for two truly important reports on the digital lives of America’s teenagers. These two reporters have been doing the work every parent of teenagers should have been doing all along.

The last word belongs to 16-year-old Katherine Nevitt, who wrote a letter to the editor in response to the Richtel article. She had decided on her own to limit her digital exposure and decrease her distractions. “I can only urge my fellow teenagers to do the same,” she wrote. “That is, the three of you reading this.”

 


 

I am always glad to hear from readers. Write me at mail@albertmohler.com. Follow regular updates on Twitter at www.twitter.com/AlbertMohler.

Matt Richtel, “Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distraction,” The New York Times, Sunday, November 21, 2010.

Readers Respond, “Generation Text, Living on a Screen,” The New York Times, Thursday, November 25, 2010.

Jan Hoffman, “As Bullies Go Digital, Parents Play Catch-Up,” The New York Times, Sunday, December 5, 2010.

What Does Your Worship Say About God?

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If an outsider came into your Sunday meeting and observed you worshiping, what would he conclude you think about God? 

Does your expression of worship say how great and glorious, delightful and exciting you think God is? Does your worship say you’ve found God to be faithful and good, loving and satisfying?  Would an outsider conclude you believe God to be real and present?

Or does your worship say you find God about as exciting as an exam on protein chains (maybe you bio majors would get excited about this – I wouldn’t).  Do you sing with all the enthusiasm of someone who has just been asked to shovel 2 tons of manure?  Does your worship say you believe God is distant and uncaring?

What does our worship say about what God did for us? Do we sing like those who have been redeemed eternally from the wrath of God? Like those who have been seated with Christ in heavenly places? Like those who are grateful to have every sin wiped away? Do we rejoice like those who have the king of the universe living inside them?

We should worship God expressively, not for a show or to impress others, but as a way of saying to him how much we love him. That we consider him to be infinitely great and glorious and majestic. That we consider him to be praiseworthy.

Worship is primarily an issue of the heart. So someone could worship God wholeheartedly and not show it on the outside. But I like what I once heard John Piper say – worship begins in the heart but should not stay there.  It should be expressed.

Our glad hearts should overflow with thanks for all God did for us in Christ.  Hey, Jesus DIED for us. He was tortured, spit on, mocked, pierced, so that we could be with and enjoy God for ever and ever.  Essentially, Jesus went to hell so that we don’t have to.  Isn’t that worth getting excited about?

We should worship like rich people! Because we are. We’ve been given every spiritual blessing in Christ! We should sing with more enthusiasm than if we just found out we won the lottery.

We should sing like those who know God is working all things for good in our lives. Like those who are being transformed into the very image of Christ. Like those who will worship around the throne for eternity.

God has designed us to express delight in things excellent and beautiful. We gush when we see a glorious sunset. We clap and shout at Coldplay concerts and Steeler games (well, maybe not if you’re a Cleveland Browns fan). We give standing ovations for outstanding accomplishments.  Our cheers show what we think of that diving catch or that guitar solo.

Again, our worship isn’t some kind of performance we put on for others. Our worship is for God.  But it says something about what we think about him.

This Sunday let’s show God what we think of him and sing the roofs off our church buildings.

 

This post was written by Stephen Altrogge and can be found on his blog, here.

Dear Moms, Jesus Wants You To Chill Out

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FACT: If your children can’t read by age four there is a 95% chance they will end up homeless and on drugs.

FACT: If your children eat any processed food there is an 85% chance they will contract a rare, most likely incurable disease, by age 12.

FACT: If  you’re not up at dawn reading the Bible to your children, you are most likely a pagan caught in the clutches of witchcraft.

FACT: If your children watch more than 10 minutes of television a day there is 75% chance they will end up in a violent street gang by age 17.

Obviously, the “facts” listed above are not true (at least, I don’t think they are). But, I’ve noticed that the Internet has made it much easier for people, and moms in particular, to compare themselves to each other. Now, just to be clear, this is not a post against “mom blogs”, or whatever they’re called. If you write a mom blog, that’s cool with me. This is a post to encourage the moms who tend to freak out and feel like complete failures when they read the mom blogs and mom Facebook posts.

Moms, Jesus wants you to chill out about being a mom. You don’t have to make homemade bread to be a faithful mom. You don’t have to sew you children’s clothing to be a faithful mom. You don’t have to coupon, buy all organic produce, keep a journal, scrapbook, plant a garden, or make your own babyfood to be a faithful mom. There’s nothing wrong with these things, but they’re also not in your biblical job description.

Your job description is as follows:

  • Love God. This simply means finding some time during the day to meet with the Lord. It doesn’t have to be before all the kids are awake. It doesn’t have to be in the pre-dawn stillness. Your job is to love God. How you make that happen can look a million different ways.
  • Love your husband (unless you’re a single mom, of course). Your second job is to love and serve your husband. Husbands are to do the same for their wives, but that’s for a different post. If your husband really likes homemade bread, maybe you could make it for him. But don’t make homemade bread simply because you see other moms posting pictures of their homemade bread on Facebook.
  • Love your kids. Your calling as mom is to love your kids and teach them to follow the Lord. They don’t need to know Latin by age six. If they do, more power to you. But that’s a bonus, not part of the job description. Your job is simply to love your kids with all your exhausted heart, and to teach them to love Jesus. That’s a high calling. Don’t go throwing in other, extraneous things to make your life more difficult. If you want to teach your kids to sew, great. But don’t be crushed by guilt if your kids aren’t making stylish blazers by the age of 10.

Moms, Jesus want you to rest in him. He wants you to chill out. His yoke is easy and his burden is light. Don’t compare yourself to other moms. Don’t try to be something God hasn’t called you to be. If the mom blogs are making you feel guilty, stop reading them. Be faithful to what he has truly called you to do, and know that he is pleased with you. When your kids are resting, don’t feel guilty about watching an episode of “Lost”, or whatever your favorite show may happen to be.

Love God, love your husband, love your kids. Keep it simple and chill out.

This post was written by Stephen Altrogge and can be found on his blog, here.

+photo by pedrosimoes7

The Lord’s Prayer (pt.6)

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The following is the sixth part of a series written by one of our members, David Carrico. Previous parts can be found at the links below:

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:9-10

“Thy will be done…”

We left off in the last article with the thought that God’s mind is not human in scope, makeup, or ability; that it far exceeds our own; and that as part of His mind He does have a will that we may not always clearly understand. That’s because while the Bible is very clear about the things that are part of the precept will of God—those things that He declares should be the responsibility of mankind—it is not always crystal clear on the things that are part of His purpose will. We dare not assume in human arrogance that the Bible contains all things about God. In fact, we have a pretty good hint that this is not the case.

And there are also many other things which Jesus did, which if they were written in detail, I suppose that even the world itself would not contain the books which were written. John 21:25

Now some would probably argue that this was a statement of hyperbole, trying to capture an image of the sheer wonder of the life of Christ on earth. But this verse isn’t a piece of poetry; it’s the conclusion of a factual account of the life and ministry of Jesus, the Son of God, the second person of the Trinity. I take it at face value: an attempt to convey in specific detail everything that occurred, every work that was done by Christ, every touch from God during the life of Jesus, would swamp the world. It could not contain it.

And if that is true of God the Son, can it be any less true of God the Father and God the Holy Spirit?

And if we cannot know the fullness of the mind of God, if we cannot know everything that is contained within His will, then what are we praying when we say “Thy will be done?”

Well, for one thing, let’s be perfectly clear that God does not need our permission, agreement, or approval. God is going to accomplish His will, regardless of whether or not we understand it, and regardless of whether or not we think it’s the right thing to do. To be blunt, we are not entitled to an opinion of God’s purposes. That was forfeited when Adam and Eve fell. Of course, that doesn’t stop us from having one at times, but that opinion matters just as much to God as the opinions of the squirrels in my front yard matter to me—less than that, actually.

So if that part of the prayer is not an approval or a vote of confidence, what is it?

It should be a prayer for God to find us worthy of use in accomplishing His purposes.

Now in a large house there are not only gold and silver vessels, but also vessels of wood and of earthenware, and some to honor and some to dishonor. Therefore, if a man cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:20-21

For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves… 2 Corinthians 4:6-7

On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, “Why did you make me like this,” will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use, and another for common use? What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? And He did so in order that He might make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory… Romans 9:20-23

It should be the desire of our hearts that even though we are earthen vessels, not gold or silver, that we will still be found to be vessels of honor, useful to the Master for making known the riches of His glory and mercy to the world around us. So our prayer should be “Thy will be done…with me and in me and through me.”

“…on earth as it is in heaven.”

We conclude with the final part of the phrase “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” I find it interesting that the vast majority of English translations seem to have this translated backwards. The Greek literally reads something like “Let be done the will of You, as in heaven, also on the earth.” Some might think that there’s no real difference between the two wordings, but I don’t agree. I think that there is a primacy—an importance—in the positioning of these two parts of the phrase. To me, the standard translation carries with it the idea of “let Your will be done on earth, just as it is being done in heaven.” But the literal translation instead carries with it the idea of “just as Your will is already being done in heaven, so let it be done here on earth.”

Do you see the difference? One is reactive and almost passive, while the other recognizes that God’s will and purpose are already being accomplished and carried out. The literal translation is a prayer that God will bring us into line with what His will is already doing.

And as I said above, that should be the greatest desire of our hearts.

Grace and peace to you.

David

Thanksgiving As A Lifestyle…

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It is a sure sign that we are sinners that we tend to be more concerned about what we do than what we are. That is, our guilt or peace oftentimes is the fruit of our own judgment of how often we commit a known sin, less often grounded in what we think and how we feel. I may hate my brother, but if I can keep myself from killing him, well, how bad could I be?

In Romans 1 Paul is setting about the business of explaining the universal guilt of men before God. There he answers the telling question, what about the innocent native in Africa who knows nothing of Christ by affirming that all men everywhere both know who God is, and reject that knowledge. Before we have done anything we stand guilty, if only because our eyes tell us there is a God and our hearts hate that truth. Paul then, however, in describing the universal sinful condition of all men outside of Christ adds this condemnation- neither were they grateful.

If it is true that all men exist, were made to glorify God, our gratitude failure is not simply a failure of manners, akin to forgetting to write a thank-you card for a gift. Instead it is like adultery, like murder, like cosmic rebellion. How so? Well, a failure to be grateful is grounded in the conviction that we are due better than what we have been given. We are all born with an expectation of a certain level of comfort, a certain level of fulfillment, a certain level of pleasure. When these exceed our expectations we believe all is right with the world. We have received our due. When they fall below our expectations, however, we grumble, we complain, we howl. We scratch our heads thinking something is wrong with the universe.

Something is wrong with the universe- us. The lost are, well, lost. They have not been changed. They do not have the Holy Spirit. They are on their own. But we complain just like them. We have the same set of expectations, and so mimic their grumbling. We, because we are worldly, look at the world and our place in it just like the world.

Gratitude, however, isn’t the fruit of happiness, but its root. When we give thanks, when we look at the world and our place in it realistically, remembering what we are due in ourselves, what we have, and all that we have been promised in Christ, we are astonished, overwhelmed. And therefore overjoyed.

I have with me four daughters who love me, and their Lord. I have three sons who love me, and their Lord. I have friends who love me, and their Lord. I have work that I love, that serves the Lord. I have a church where our Lord and His Word are preached. Most important of all, I am beloved of the Father. How could I ever even begin to think “It isn’t enough”? And, when I fail, my Father forgives me, His Spirit works in me, and I get better. Saint, thanksgiving isn’t a holiday to be observed, but a lifestyle to be practiced. Give thanks. And when you are done, do it again.

This article was written by RC Sproul Jr and can be found here.

The Lord’s Prayer (pt.5)

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The following is the fifth part of a series written by one of our members, David Carrico. Previous parts can be found at the links below:

Part 1      Part 2      Part 3      Part 4

 

“Pray, then, in this way: ‘Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.  Thy kingdom come.  Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  Matthew 6:9-10

“Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”  As with the last article, there’s quite a bit that can be said about this phrase, and I don’t intend to attempt to cover all of it.  We will only meditate on one of the aspects.

“Thy will be done…”  Have you ever really stopped to think about what that phrase means?  Because it’s part of the Model Prayer, most believers have heard it so often that it has become part of the “churchy” vocabulary.  It’s something we hear at church, that you frequently hear in prayers, and we’re so used to it that we don’t even think much about it.

But what exactly does “will” mean in this context?

First of all, since “will” is a word that can be both a verb and a noun, we have to determine which form is in use in this phrase.  That’s pretty easy—in this context it’s a noun.  So how do we define “will” as a noun?  Well, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, some of the possible definitions are:

2 a : something desired; especially : a choice or determination of one having authority or power 

b (1) archaic : request, command 

   (2): the part of a summons expressing a royal command

3 : the act, process, or experience of willing : volition

So as used in this verse, “Thy will…” would seem to be an expression dealing with the concept of God choosing/determining/willing something.  Is that something out of line for God, something we shouldn’t expect to see from Him?

On the contrary, scripture contains many references to God’s will, either in the verb form where God is willing something, or in the noun form to express the will of God.  For example, consider the words of Jesus:

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven; but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven.”  Matthew 7:21

We need to be careful, though; oftentimes when we use this word “will” among ourselves, we use it in a context of wishing or hoping.  That is not a context we can apply to God.  God neither hopes nor wishes.  God has desires, yes.  But those desires are not wishes or hopes.  The difference between our desires and God’s desires is that God’s desires will always be accomplished, whereas all too often our own will not.

But “will” in the sense of the dictionary definition:  a choice or determination of one having authority and power, or a royal command—oh, yes; those are definitely consistent with the scriptural premise of the will of God, as is given in the above verse.  And a good concordance will show you many verses that are in line with that thought.

For our purposes at this moment, though, how can we discern the will of God, and what does that mean for us in prayer?  Well, walk with me through this, and I’ll try to show you what I see.

Let’s begin by asking how and where God has revealed Himself to us?  And there are two basic answers:  in His creation, and in His word, the Bible.  God is revealed in His creation in a general way, for us to view the complexity of life and the universe and realize that there must be a Creator.  God is revealed in His word in a very specific way.  Everything that we know about the nature of God—about His characteristics, emotions, and makeup—is revealed to us in the pages of the Bible.

Actually, that last statement should be rephrased for maximum accuracy.  It’s not just everything we know about God that is revealed in the Bible; it’s everything that God wants us to know about Him that is revealed in the Bible.  And that is an important distinction.

From the very beginning of this series of blogs, I’ve tried to set forth the idea that God, especially God the Father, is so much more than our human minds can possibly contain and comprehend.  Now I’m going to say it bluntly:  we can never comprehend the totality of God in this life.  Attempting to know and understand all aspects of God, all of His nature, all of His characteristics, is an exercise in futility.

Do you understand what I mean when I say that God is not human?  Yes, He has some characteristics that are like human characteristics:  emotions, will, thought, even the gift of singing.  (See Zephaniah 3:17, where the majority of translations have God singing over His chosen ones.)  But as I implied in the first couple of blogs, the God whose mind can contain the full design of the universe and everything that is in it, the God who has the power to speak that universe into being, that is a God who is as far above us humans as we are above squirrels that run around in my front yard looking for acorns.  And just as the squirrels have no hope of understanding me and everything about me, we have no hope of understanding everything there is to know about God.

Why am I belaboring this point?  Because there is something we truly need to understand about the will of God.  In scripture, particular in the New Testament, it almost appears that God is schizophrenic, because in some passages it appears that God has predestined all of creation throughout all of history (for example, see Ephesians 1:3-12), yet in other passages the writers stress that mankind has choices to make and is responsible for the choices that are made (for example, see Ephesians 6:6, Acts 16:29-31, James 2:14-26).

The problem that arises is that most people perceive these two positions as being in conflict.  This is sometimes contrasted as predestination vs. free will, or as divine sovereignty vs. the responsibility of man.  But both of those statements are wrong, because they are presented as if the two concepts in each proposition are in an either/or relationship:  that one must be true and therefore the other may be false.  Again, that is our human perception and rationality at work.

But if one of those concepts is true and the other is false, then we run into the problem that the Bible presents both of them as being true.  And that’s where we humans get into trouble.  We insist that one or the other—but not both—must be right, when the truth is that both are contained in God’s word, and therefore both are right.

Some people consider this sovereignty/responsibility issue a paradox, and try to present it as such.  But this isn’t truly a paradox.  Look the word up in a dictionary, and you’ll see something similar to the following:

2 a : a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true 

b : a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true 

c : an argument that apparently derives self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)

None of those definitions truly apply, not even 2a, because both concepts in the sovereignty/responsibility issue are true.  The condition created by this issue is actually an antinomy.  That’s a fancy word that we don’t even see used in church, which means a contradiction between two equally valid principles, which in turn is exactly what we have when we consider the sovereignty/responsibility issue.

God gave us His word, and everything contained within it.  Both the teachings of divine sovereignty and of the responsibility of man are contained within it, therefore they have to be part of what God wants us to know about Him and His will.  God gave them both to us, and they must both be true, or they wouldn’t be in God’s word.  But in our human understanding they seem contradictory.

In our human understanding…  That’s where the real problem lies.  Whereas in God’s mind these things are both true and both valid and there is no conflict between them, in our minds that’s not so much the case.  And instead of acknowledging that God’s mind and God’s will are so superior and so much larger than ours that He can understand and proclaim something that we can’t understand, we usually choose sides and argue and bicker.

The truth is that not only can God’s mind contain both of these concepts without conflict; He actually has two different wills in play at the same time.

Someone years ago tried to describe these two wills to me as God’s perfect will and God’s permissive will, and their explanation was that God had a perfect will of what He wanted to occur, but that in His permissive will He would accept our choices when they were less than they ought to be.  I thought about that for a long time, and I finally rejected that explanation as being very sloppy theology.

I recently ran across a better explanation, however; one that does work for me.  In this thought, God has a precept will, and God has a purpose will.  The precept will contains everything that God has revealed about Himself and about how man should behave in relationship to Him and in relationship to each other—as contained in the Bible, in other words.  The purpose will contains everything that God Himself will do, and this will has not been revealed to anywhere near the extent of the precept will.

Another way to look at it is the precept will is God’s Law, and the purpose will is God’s Plan.  One deals with what man ought to be; the other deals with what man will be.  And although our poor human minds tie themselves in knots trying to reconcile the antinomy, in God’s much more capable mind and understanding there is no conflict.  And if there is no conflict in God, then we should accept this as just as much a mystery as why God bothers to offer salvation to anyone.

That’s enough for today.  Think on these things, and we’ll pick up and finish the meditation on this phrase next blog.

Grace and peace to you.

David

Gift Suggestion

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Just in case you are going shopping this weekend, here’s a little dandy for the bag.

Dancing with Jesus is the illustrated guide to get those feet a steppin’. Have you ever asked yourself what the Bible means when it asks “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news”? Well here is your answer…

“Singing hymns of praise is standard practice—now it’s time to set your feet a-tapping with a collection of original dance moves inspired by Jesus and the likes of Moses and John the Baptist. Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga. Each dance move is outlined with: how to, inspiration, and an illustration. …Dancing with Jesus is illustrated in full color. Best of all, two of the dances are animated for full effect by a lenticular cover and last-spread finale…”

You shouldn’t, but you can order it here.

Another Way to Look at Turkey

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This is the month of Thankfulness. All you have to do is log on Facebook to affirm it. Many friends participate and show their gratitude by posting a different thing they are thankful for each day leading up to Thanksgiving. While it’s good to give thanks for our blessings, Flannery O’Connor’s short story, The Turkey, made me reflect on both the grace God provides in ordinary life, as well as what he asks of his disciples.

The story begins with Ruller, an 11-year-old boy “playing by himself” in the woods when he spots an injured turkey. He figures it must be at least ten pounds. Once Ruller realized that it couldn’t even fly, he determined he was going to get that turkey. What a gift God was giving him! Immediately, he began to think about all the glory that would come his way when he came home with a wild turkey over his shoulder. This news would surely make the list of things his parents would talk about in bed. Unbeknownst to them, Ruller stayed awake, carefully hanging on to every word of their pillow talk. Eventually dad would ask, “How are the boys?” each night. Although a bit peculiar, he was faring better than his older brother Hane, who was wearing his mother “to a frazzle” with his rebellious behavior. “Hane played pool and smoked cigarettes and sneaked in at twelve-thirty and boy he thought he was something.” Now Ruller was really going to be something to talk about when he victoriously brought home this turkey.

Until the chase ran his head straight into a tree branch that cleaned his clock.

By the time he realized what he had done, Ruller was on his back and the turkey was nowhere in sight. “It was like somebody had played a dirty trick on him.” That turkey was dangled in front of him as a prize that he couldn’t have. As Ruller now conceded that he was going to go home beat up and empty-handed, the cursing began. First it was just “nuts,” and then “Oh hell.” But this bad providence sent Ruller into cursing God’s name in a way that would make his grandma’s “teeth fall in her soup.” The turkey that got away had Ruller considering, even relishing, the glory he would get as a bad boy. Hane had nuthin’ on him.

But wait.

The turkey hadn’t escaped after all. It was just behind the thicket. Ruller began to think maybe God had put the turkey there to keep him from going bad. When he finally captured that turkey, he decided to take the long way home through town. Now that he was getting the glory for this spectacular hunt, Ruller grew thankful for this gift from God. In fact, he pledged to give the dime that his grandma had given him to a beggar on the way home. What a good boy he was.

Aren’t we so often the same way? God gives us our heart’s desire and we soak up all the glory for ourselves, parading our accomplishments over our shoulder through town. When God is handing out the blessings, we acknowledge his great favor. But perhaps God’s greatest gift to Ruller was knocking him upside the head with that branch, exposing his sinful nature when he thought his pursuit was for naught.

As he was fantasizing about the acclaim of his family members and townsmen, it never occurred to Ruller that God didn’t want the dime from his grandma. God wanted the very thing he gave him. And God was to get the glory. That’s the ironic twist to the story as Ruller was showing his turkey off to some country boys. In the midst of his own glory as a hunter and giver to the poor, his foolishness didn’t see it coming. Only this time, it didn’t take a branch to clean his clock. Just some country boys who tricked him into handing them the turkey.  Now all he had to show was a bruised and dirty body. What kind of boy was he going to be now?

Our God is good, but it isn’t because of the things he gives us. A studier of his Word will know that the cross comes before the crown. The life of the disciple is one of self-denial. God always deserves all the glory, even in his severe mercies of taking away what we treasure above him. The almighty God is our ultimate blessing. He is our great reward.

This article was written by Aimee Byrd and can be found on her blog, housewife theologian, here

What I Wish I’d Known When I Was a Young Mama

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Ah, how exciting. All these years of writing and blogging and today I get to write the post that’s been on my mind since 2002…

Because, when I was a young mama, this is the kind of stuff I needed…another mom, a bit further down the mothering road than I was, but not so far that she’d forgotten what foods a one-year-old will choke on and, related, how to do the baby Heimlich.

While normally I like to give principles and not prescriptions, today I’m going to be taking a break from that philosophy and laying it on thick. So, here it goes, nineteen years of mothering condensed down into one (relatively) short list, starting with pregnancy and moving all the way to letting children leave the nest:

1. There is never a perfect time to get pregnant and you will never have enough money to start your family. Do it anyway.

2. Don’t tell everyone what you plan to name the baby. They will pipe in with why they hate it and spoil it for you. Emily, for example, was previously named Jessamyn Rayanna, but I made the mistake of telling people. If you wait until the baby is born, however, to announce the name, your family will declare it the finest one since Mary named Jesus.

3. Enjoy that moving belly every moment you can. You will miss it the most out of all your pregnancy memories.

4. Take the drugs.

5. Let the nursery take the baby for a few hours. You’ll need the head start.

6. Accept help. Especially if it comes in the form of hot lasagnas delivered to the door by your Ya-Yas.

7. Don’t create a Pinterested life. Happiness with your baby does not come from some vision someone else puts in your head of how it should look, but in accepting your unique experience and reveling in la difference, not in la perfect ideal that doesn’t exist. Rinse and repeat for every issue you will ever encounter with your child.

8. Sleep when the baby sleeps.

9. Reading stimulating literature is a salvation for a mama with three under three. Adjust to your temperament: Painting may be your thing instead, but do something.

10. Teach the baby to sleep on his own. 

11. Read Mother Teresa on mothering (The Greatest Love).

12. Studies consistently show that firm rules with lots of love makes the healthiest, happiest kids. Tuck that one away.

13. Memorize this mantra I learned from my college orchestra conductor: Keep your wits about you. 

14. When you feel the slightest stress building, sit down and breathe slowly for one full minute. Don’t wait for the full coronary.

15. Tend and water your body, mind, and soul, daily.

16. Pray for EVERY situation…not just when you’re at your wit’s end.

17. When your child is most unlovely and the most unlovable, love him the most.

18. There is no one method, philosophy, or formula…so quit looking for it and enjoy the scenery on your own journey.

19. Don’t stop hugging and kissing them just because they get facial hair. If you never stop, it never gets awkward.

20. Worry more about living life than documenting it.

21. Worry less about being perfect and more about being kind.

22. Bend to the moment.

23. Work yourself out of a job by teaching your child from birth to be competent and capable.

24. Model every trait you want your children to have and gently forgive yourself when what you model isn’t what you want them to be.

25. Be a safe confessional.

26. Talk at them less and with them more.

27. “Work while you work, play while you play. One thing, each time, that is the way. All that you do, do with your might, things done by halves are not done right.” In other words, double-tasking is a soul sucker. Do one thing at a time as often as you can.

28. “What you can’t get out of, get into wholeheartedly”—Mignon McLaughlin

29. Say ‘yes’ more often, if you are on the strict end of the spectrum.

30. Say ‘no’ more often, if you are on the soft end of the spectrum.

31. Don’t overcontrol your teenagers. Now should be the time to loosen the reigns, not tighten them like you did when they were two.

32. This, too, shall pass.

33. Exercise, even a little, every day.

34. Never, ever compare your life/child/home with another mom.

35. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect to live and enjoy right now. Even if thatright now means you have three in diapers, are expecting twins, and just bought a puppy.

 

This article was written by Amy Henry and can be found here.

How Fathers Are Like NBA Stars

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If you’re familiar with Anthony Davis, you’ll know that he was the first pick in the 2012 NBA draft.  This may have had little bearing on your life; if so, we will excuse you–though I would encourage you to keep an eye on Jeremy Lin this year.  I think he’s going to have a great season.

There’s been a good deal of chatter about what Davis can do for the woeful New Orleans Hornets.  He can draw more fans, score more points, block more shots, and especially help the team to win more games.  In other words, he’s predicted to make an immediate and major impact on the team.

I don’t know why–this is how my psychology works itself out–but I was thinking about this in relation to a father.  Those of us who believe that men are called by God to provide for their families will know that this often means long, hard hours at work.  But here’s the thing: we’re not able to let ourselves off the hook when we come home.  In other words, we don’t think being a “breadwinner” means that we are justified in being disengaged with our families.

Like Anthony Davis, we want to come home and bless our wives and children.  We want to make an immediate and major impact on our homes.

What does this look like?  It looks like, on days when you can do this, coming home and being a blessing to your wife.  It means engaging with your kids.  They’ve been waiting for you; they’re excited to see you.  Play with them.  Pick them up.  Build towers with them.  Listen to their stories.  Correct them if necessary.

With our wives, this means asking them how they are, what they’re feeling, and how we can be of help to them.  It doesn’t mean turning on ESPN, firing up email yet again, or goofing off.  Complementarian men are, contrary to some popular thought, not domineering lords.  We are those who, as John Piper has powerfully explained, work hard to bless our families, and who take the lead in sacrificing.  (Here’s a great resource on this topic, by the way.)

In this regard, we’re trying to take Ephesians 5:22-31 seriously.  Through the gospel of Christ, we have been transformed and made able to sacrifice on behalf of others in order that they might flourish in him.  That is our theological call, and that is our practical manifesto.  Our days of shot-blocking and dunking may be over (for some of us, they may in point of fact actually never have happened), but our days of leadership, provision, and Christic sacrifice are here.

These are good days, and this is a good call.

 

This article was written by Owen Strachen, Assistant Professor of Christian Theology and Church History at Boyce College in Louisville, Kentucky. Read more about Owen. You can find the original post here.

The Googlization of Bible Study

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Yes, “googlization” is a word.  If you don’t believe me Google it.  Googlization refers to the rapid spread of Google, the internet king.  It’s affecting my brain.  And it’s affecting my Bible study.  That scares me.

A couple of days ago I was reading through a particularly difficult passage of Scripture.  Five or six years ago I had tiny personal library and internet access that was slower than a turtle on Nyquil*.  When I came to a difficult section in Scripture I was forced to chew on it for awhile.  I had to think through it and pray through it and then write something out and make my best guess.  Then after about 15-20 minutes my page finally loaded and I was able to test whether or not I was a heretic.

Now, I don’t need that chew time.  If I have a problem I simply Google it.  And it’s making me dumberer.  If I have an intellectual problem I tip my hat to Mr. Google and get an answer.  Very quickly.  I read through some sort of answer and then move on.  The problem with this, though, is that I havean answer but I do not own that answer.

Google disseminates information.  That’s great and helpful…when what you need is information.  But the vast majority of what I need in personal Bible study and even sermon preparation is not information.  I need the Spirit of God to enliven the Word of God and transform my heart.  I needto chew on a text and sweat through it.  Google gives me too quick of an out.  It shortcuts my labor.  And as a result it shortcuts my ownership of the truth as well as my heart.

God’s Word is central in our knowledge and understanding of Jesus Christ, His Son.

Therefore, I am going to intentionally not Google unless I chew first.  I am determined to use Google primarily as a fact-checker instead of a fact-giver.  I want to think on my own.  I want to wrestle with passages of Scripture and not cheat by eating the fruit of somebody else’s labor.  I’m convinced that the best worship comes from the labor of scrapping with a text

of Scripture instead of simply reading about some other dudes battle with that same text.Google is a poor replacement for the Holy Spirit.

*In case you are curious I have never actually given Nyquil to a turtle.  But that doesn’t mean I never will.  I’ve just never owned a turtle nor have I ever heard one sneeze.

This article was written by Mike Leake and can be found on his blog here

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